Friday, July 7, 2023

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Yes. Pronounce this title and you get a chance to spend a lovely evening with me. I know, not a very promising prize. You would rather not pronounce it. So, what is it?


Living a generally mundane life, I saw the Whatsapp status video of my mentor (for all practical purposes) in the writing area and my daughter's Creative Writing teacher - Anupama Dalmia, where she was playing this "guessing" game. The question was - which is that word in English Dictionary/language which was actually a song but it became so popular that it was included in the language. And the video ended there...

With my limited exposure and love for English songs, I made no efforts and asked for the answer. She - equally aware of my limitation - immediately gave me the answer. And it was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. It took me a few seconds to figure it out that it was not a typing mistake and I asked for the Youtube link, if available. She sent me that too. My mind was blown away. Whoever thought of that word and the lyrics of the song, who composed it, who sang it...

Such a small thing but it got me excited as a child.

Once, a family friend and a life coach, told me. Our brain needs to be challenged and indulged into something new every now and then. You go to office from the same route every day. Try a new route some day. You use your right hand to brush your teeth. Try brushing them with your left hand some day. See the fun. I did some of these things and I was totally amazed. I think doing such things actually increases your concentration amd makes you stay in that moment, which is something very important. Thinking of 10 other things while doing that one thing actually increases anxiety and lack of concentration. So when I was brushing my teeth with left hand, my mind was totally into it. No other thoughts. But our resistance to do things differently also increases with our age. In fact, seeing somebody do something differently makes us (at least me and a few others that I know) irritated. Young kids are the best example. If I make some stupid sound or a gesture, my baby boy burst into laughter and I am like, hello, what was so funny about it. But he likes it. The babies use the 'tools' that we give to them in unimaginable ways. Give them a spoon and they may use it as a tool to do everything but to eat. Thats curiosity. Unfortunately, our curiosity slows down as we age. 

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

I am on a BREAK

 


This is something that I wrote within 4-5 minutes for a Daily Prompt from a Bloggers' platform but due to some issue, could not get published there...

Prompt word for the day was BREAK...

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Part 1: The Unnamed Caregiver

The first “Human of my life” that came to my mind the moment I thought about this series was someone who took care of me, without being asked to do so, during my pregnancy. Since this episode happened during my pregnancy, I wanted to share this beautiful story with several other fellow-mommies and that’s why I had posted it on another online platform that is exclusively for the Mothers – Momspresso.

Here is the link to the first part - https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/nikita/article/humans-of-my-life-part1-the-unnamed-caregiver-7iqpmo18cftg

New Series - The Humans of My Life

Life is short and unpredictable. We keep coming across life coaches who suggest we to not wait to do something in our lives but just do it. Many of us have even seen that happen.

In our everyday busy lives, we are so engrossed with our mundane jobs that we rarely get time to take a pause, appreciate little things around us that give us joy. We are surrounded by news of dangerous crimes and criminals that we just cannot see some beautiful people who might have selflessly helped us in some way. 

I, too, have several instances where I kept on thinking about calling someone and talking to them or reaching out and convey my heartfelt gratitude to them and regretting my laziness as I lost touch with these people or lost them forever.

“I will call her on this Saturday”, I thought to myself very recently, only to know that she left us forever on Friday – a day before I was thinking to call her.

“I will retire after 3 years Nikita and I am not going to miss even one single Bharatanatyam performance of my daughter”, said my ex-Manager, only that a massive cardiac-arrest took him away forever the very next morning.

I cannot undo what I have done, or rather not done. However, what I can do now is to think about and express my gratitude towards these angels and heroes of my life – The Humans of My Life.

In this series – The Humans of My Life – I am going to share the stories of several strangers who I might have met just for a day or over a period of time and they helped me in some way or the other and left a major mark on my life.


Tuesday, January 12, 2021

A grand funeral

“Guys. I have sad news for all of you”, said Swatee to her group.

Group - It was a group of five, nicknamed SAVAN, using the first letter of the names of each of the members in the order of their ages. Swatee, Ankur, Vipul, Anurag, and Nikki. They were cousins. Swatee, Ankur, and Anurag were real siblings while Vipul and Nikki were the children of their aunty. All of them were very close to each other and most of their summer vacations were spent together.


Everybody looked up as Swatee announced the sad news.


“What is it?”, asked Ankur


“He is no more. I just checked on him”


“Oh no. I knew something was wrong with him. He was sitting still for a long time there. God knows if he passed away when we saw him yesterday night. You guys did not let me go near him. We could have saved him somehow”, said Vipul


“Where is he now?”, asked Anurag


“Still there. In the corner of the garden. I went near him and called out his name many times. When he did not respond, I went close and nudged him. That’s when I realized that he is no more”, explained Swatee. 


“He must get a very nice burial spot and a grand funeral. Shall we inform our mothers?”, asked Vipul


“No. They won’t allow us to do the last rites. Let’s do it ourselves. How about making his grave right there at his favorite spot - the corner of the garden?”, proposed Ankur


“Won’t our mothers scold us?”, asked the youngest of all, Nikki


“Don’t worry. Now, go and get a cloth to cover him. You can find a white one in my cupboard”, instructed Swatee and Nikki took off.


Everybody got up and went outside and made sure that nobody was there. As it was mid of June, the hot weather made sure that all the adults were sitting inside. Nobody can force the kids to stay indoors though. The boys dug the grave at the corner of the garden. By that time, Nikki had already got the white cloth. All of them gave one final teary look to their friend and covered him. Ankur and Vipul picked him up and lowered him in the grave.


They all stood around it and then slowly started covering it with mud. Everyone stood in silence, tears rolling down their cheeks. To everyone’s surprise, Anurag suddenly ran inside and reappeared after some five minutes. He came near all of them, made his way closer to the grave, and planted a flag that he just made, with their friend’s name on it.


“Goodbye, my friend. Rest in peace”, said a teary-eyed Anurag


Everyone shared their memories about him and occasionally had a brief laugh thinking about the precious moments spent with the departed soul.


“He always liked this corner. Whatever the season be, however hot or cold it might be, we could always find him here”, remembered Ankur


“And he instantly became our friend, isn’t it? None of us hesitated to play with him the moment we saw him”, said Vipul


“Yes. May he rest in peace”, finally said Swatee and placed some fresh flowers near the grave


“Nikki, won’t you say anything for him?”, asked Vipul


“Ummm… I… What do I say? He was very friendly and free-spirited. Always jumping and hopping around. Do you all remember his long tongue? I freaked out when I first saw him catching that big mosquito with his tongue. I wish we could have played a little longer with him. He used to play hide & seek with us here in the garden and it was always so difficult to spot him, for his green color. I’ll miss playing with him now. 

Goodbye dear friend, Froggie”


And SAVAN bid adieu to their friend, a green frog, who they had fondly named as Froggie.



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This is what our childhood was made of. Memorable summer vacations and stories to narrate to our next generation and laugh about them. This story is part fiction and part real. The real part is that we did name our group as SAVAN and had also performed the funeral of a frog. But we were not that dramatic in those days. We still are not!

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

The Baarat Mix

 Last week there was a wedding or maybe many weddings nearby. We know it from the music that would start every now and then. One day, the loud music went on till late night. It was our time to sleep and Navyaa was getting irritated with that noise. We kept on trying to sleep however it was not helpful since the music was too loud. All of a sudden, Navyaa blurted out and asked - “aaaah. Mumma, how can I sleep?” and without thinking, I just told her - “Navyaa, close your eyes and just imagine that you are dancing in a baarat with that music”. I have no idea from where I got that and if that really helped or not but she soon fell asleep. The music also stopped 15 minutes past the legally allowable time.


But that random advice that I gave to Navyaa brought me to my favorite topic - The Great Indian Weddings and the baarat. For those who don’t know, it's a procession of singing and dancing family members and friends of the groom from his home to the girl’s home for the wedding ceremony. In North India, many families hire a horse (a mare rather) on which the groom sits and a music band to accompany the Groom and his family. 

(for more information - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baraat)


Now, every baarat has a few peculiar participants. You will find them in every baarat. Here is my version of these peculiar characters - baaratis.


  1. The Captain

The reason I have given the name to this particular character is that he is going to be referred to several times. He is the most important character of the baarat.


Who is he - Generally, the groom's maternal or paternal uncle or the cousin elder brother or brother-in-law.


Traits - This person is given some cash by the groom’s father and his responsibility is to ensure that the baarat is getting enough time to dance but also reaches the bride’s place on time. Also, make sure that everyone in the baarat dances. 

The Captain does not care if someone likes to dance or not but if your body touches his body, his job responsibility says that he has to make you dance.

Just not that, he must give the due or undue footage to everyone. He does that by showing off that limited amount of cash to the band members, bringing them closer, telling them to play their best tune for this someone-who-just-touched-me so that this person can get that undue importance for 4-5 seconds. Btw, that cash which he just flaunted, goes back safely inside his suit pocket.


  1. A loaded Dad

Who is he - He is a dad of a newborn baby or may be a toddler whose wife just thrusts the child onto his lap because she wants to dance in the baarat. This dad also wants to dance but has a constraint in his lap - his child.


Traits - You can obviously spot them with a child in their lap. Now, since they also want to dance but the child is in his lap, nobody, including the Captain calls him in the center of all the action - the dance arena. So, this loaded dad slowly keeps on making his way closer to the Captain, with a smile, looking as natural as he can. Just at the right moment, this dad touches the Captain enough to make him turn towards him and urge him to dance. That’s it. He gets his 5-seconds of fame with the band playing some peppy music for this dad to dance. He gets back to his original place just in time before his wife spots him dancing with their child still in his lap, as if nothing happened.



Before we move on to our other characters, I must introduce one more party in such baarats. The groom’s family hires a wedding band. However, an uninvited duo of “punjabi dhol wallas” (drums) always join every baarat. These dhols are used to heat up the environment with some high intensity music and dance. 


Picture only for representation purpose


  1. The Serpents

Who are they - This is the group of the groom’s friends. Most of the time, they are seen and that too hyperactive only during the baarat, dancing inches away from the dhol wallas. 

Honestly, of all the friends invited by the groom, only one or at max two remains close to him. Rest all are here only to drink and dance (and sometimes create unnecessary nuisance, which I hate). 


Traits - They do not show their exemplary dancing skills with the hired band. They get their energy and purpose to dance like serpents only once the baarat is intruded by the uninvited dhol wallas and they are 6 pegs down. Exactly at this point, the baarat gets divided into 2 or 3 parts. The first group leading the baarat, far far away from the groom who is getting extremely uncomfortable sitting on that mare, is this Serpents group of friends dancing on the tunes of the dhols. The reason I am calling them serpents is that their favorite dance step is when one of the friends puts a handkerchief in his mouth and holds it like a trumpet and the other one lies down and dances like a snake (Naagin dance, as is popularly known in Hindi). This maneuver helps them get some attention (and a few photographs in the wedding album).



  1. The plain talker 

Who is he - He is also one of the friends of the groom. 


Traits - He is very popular in his friend circle because he talks a lot and is considered funny. However, he cannot dance (https://youtu.be/dbdtBQ16CXc)

When his serpent friends drag him to dance, he wastes a lot of time just to crack several jokes which nobody can hear since the music is very loud and after wasting several minutes and unheard jokes, he raises his hands just when he sees that the photographer has come very close to the group, twist his waist enough to make his friends erupt into a group noise and… that’s it. He vanishes. By doing this, he has made sure that there is evidence that he did dance.


  1. Unhappy Uncles & Aunties

Who are they - Please refer to my previous blog - https://nikitasdreamland.blogspot.com/2020/11/the-lockdown-uncles-aunts.html


Traits -

  1. They are unhappy about everything

  2. They are not the dancers (not even a bathroom dancer, if there is any such thing)

  3. They do not even have any enthusiasm for dancing

So, since they are unhappy about everything, they are always angry about the baarat being so late, even if the convoy is well within time. They charge up to our Captain to complain about being late but Captain being Captain. The moment they touch him, as per his job responsibility, he takes out that same note of cash to call the band closer to him, gets these uncles or aunts the required attention and urges them to dance. But they shout at him which obviously he cannot hear and march off. By then, without their knowledge, their two hands had done something to be called as a dance and they were photographed as well.


  1. Non-Dancer Uncles & Aunties

Who are they - They are the same as above.


Traits - 

  1. They are unhappy about everything

  2. They are not the dancers (not even a bathroom dancer, if there is any such thing)

  3. They DO HAVE the enthusiasm for dancing

Now, they are unhappy not because of the baarat getting late but because our Captain did not even call them to the center stage for dancing. They charge up to our Captain to complain about being late but Captain being Captain. The moment they touch him, as per his job responsibility, he takes out that same note of cash to call the band closer to him, gets these uncles or aunts the required attention and urges them to dance. And that’s it. They dance their hearts out with their two left feet and two left hands, all four of them bouncing off in different directions all at the same time. Once done, they shout at our Captain which obviously he cannot hear and march off. 


  1. The ladies of the family

Who are they - pretty obvious. 


Traits - 

Generally speaking, a day before the actual wedding ceremony a music and dance night is organised. These ladies have already danced to their hearts’ content last night and now they are wearing almost half of their respective husbands’ and their own bank balances in the form of heavy dresses, jewellery and make-up. Still, they make sure that the Captain gets the band and the dhol wallas to their side of the baarat from time to time so that they can show the same dance moves that they showed last night.


By the time our Baarat reaches the bride’s place, are welcomed and people get inside, our uninvited dhol duo catches up with our Captain to now be paid for their uncalled services (even though, throughout the procession, they had already pocketed several currency notes from various people). Now is the time that the Captain will finally use the limited cash given to him by the groom’s father. But, just not like that. For the last time, the groom’s friends, who are several pegs down, are used in this wedding. Our Captain tells the dhol duo to play their best music to “earn” this cash reward and makes these drunk friends dance. Once either of them gets tired, the cash is handed over to the Dhol duo and our Captain can now enjoy the wedding.


Oh, any of my cousins (specially, the male ones), please get married immediately after Corona limitations are lifted off. I am badly missing attending the weddings, and the baarat.

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

The Lockdown Uncles & Aunts

Before I get into the actual objects of my post, let me give a quick little background about the real life uncles and aunties that I am going to compare them with.


Most of my North Indian friends would immediately understand. For the benefit of my non-North Indian friends - in every family - immediate or a little distant - there are always those uncles and aunties who are given undue respect specially during a wedding in the family even if they practically do no work except cribbing about almost everything.


“So late in serving the dinner”


“What kind of return gifts are these? Huh… In my daughter’s wedding, I gave them so much and yet this is what I got”


“Food was bland and absolutely cold”


“Why are they dancing so much on this loud music?”


“Chalo, finally he got married, though the girl is just okay in looks. God only knows what did they see in her”


… and many such useless dialogues.


Most of the hard work is always done by the groom or bride’s parents, brothers, sisters, sister-in-laws and even friends. This breed of relatives does nothing except such cribbing and yet they are placed on the pedestal by the groom or bride’s parents and showered with gifts.


Anyway. I almost always get pretty excited about weddings and what all goes behind the scenes. But I promise, this post is not about the weddings. I just wanted to give a background of the nature of such “unique relatives”. It’s true that I am missing attending any weddings and the food and the gossip. Shush… Stop… No more wedding talks.


So, recently we celebrated the bright Indian festival of Diwali and with Diwali comes a strange tradition of cleaning the house. It’s good in a way but very tiring. This year while taking this annual tradition forward, I gave special attention to some of the things in the house and could not help but compare them with those uncles and aunties that I just explained above. 


Now, everyone of you definitely has at least one such uncle or aunty in your family. Think about them and read the rest of the post.


Because of the lockdown and compulsory Work From Home for the majority of us, some of these things have been savagely ignored exactly as the family ignores those uncles and aunties.


Wrist Watches - 

I love wearing wrist watches and was almost about to give myself one on this birthday but then lockdown happened. Four of our watches (mine and Mr. Husband’s) are placed right in the center of our home. Although, poor fellows have been ignored. Yesterday, after a really long time, I thought to wear one and guess how it behaved? Just like that uncle of yours that you have kept in your mind.




“I have been here only for several months. You did not even check me or pick me up or wear me. Now, you want to show off. No. I will not work”


Poor fellow did not realize that I already had it’s replacement - the mobile phone.


IGNORED!


Formal/Party footwear - 

The doors of our wooden shoe rack expanded when it was raining very hard in Hyderabad. Then they shrunk back to their original size and the cycle repeated a couple of times. However, they were never opened since March 2020 for many months. No office or school, no party or outing - no shoes. Only chappals. 


Finally, one day my husband announced that he is taking our daughter downstairs for cycling and she excitedly opened the rack (with great difficulty - saw the face of your uncle?) and tried one pair of shoes after another. None fitted her. All tight.


“You forgot that you used to wear me whenever you went downstairs for playing? Now, you have not looked after me for several months. I will not fit in”


Poor party bellies helped her for a few weeks and then we went to Decathlon and got her a new pair of sports shoes. 


IGNORED YET AGAIN!


Again, for Diwali, our cousin invited us over for dinner and I decided to wear my high heels footwear that I bought last December. I lay in the same position for many months and when I took her out, the strap just refused to get back in its shape. It took me some time (read: pleading) to convince it to get back in shape so that I can wear it and take it with me to the party. It obliged. I wore them. Thanked and have stuffed it back in the same place only to be seen next year. Yes, I cheated this “aunty” of mine.


Formal shirts/trousers/Indian wear - 

Normally (pre-lockdown) whenever I would clean Mr. Husband’s wardrobe, I would neatly place the formal shirts and trousers on the middle shelf - the most sought after berth of the almirah and the t-shirts would be kept on the top shelf since they were used only on Fridays or weekends. 


Similarly, my office kurtas and leggings.


Ever since the work from home had started (March, 2020), the new formals are the T-shirts and track pants or shorts and so the positions changed. I know, the “uncles and aunties” felt bad however, those who are helpful would get the best place. Ain't it?


One day I announced to my wardrobe that they are going to get new friends soon since Lifestyle had put up a stall in my apartment’s Club House. My office wears got excited and “proud”. Poor fellows felt IGNORED yet again when I introduced them with my new track pants and T-shirts.


Occasionally, I give them some (undue) respect and wear them. They feel happy. Then I wash them, iron them, fold them nicely and back in the cupboard to be seen after many weeks. While I am sweating hard to lose a few kilograms from my body and a couple of inches from my waist, these “uncles and aunties” sitting in my cupboard are praying hard that I gain extra weight and inches so that I could not fit into those. But little are they aware that I can always order big size T-shirts and new relatives (read: kurtis & leggings).


There were several other such “uncles and aunties” in my home (car battery was another one, btw). Tell me what are your “ignored-during-lockdown/WFH” objects or things in your home in the comments section below.