Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Digital Life

So. It was raining continuously for over a week here at Hyderabad to an extent of making us bored. My baby and parents could not go out for playing or walking. They had to keep all the windows closed to avoid harsh rain water from coming inside. I had to think twice before leaving from office due to heavy rains and had horrible time driving in nearly 0 visibility. All in all, everyone fed up with rain. Kept on praying to God to stop for some time. Didn't help. Finally, what do a Facebook addict do? Obviously post some thing about this on her page. That I did. Here is what I posted:

"bas karo maharaj. ek din chod ke baras lena... i am missing Sun God... continuous rains since 3 days...
As Navyaa says - Rain Rain Go Away, Come Again Another Day... Little Navyaa Wants to Play..."

Bang... Rain stopped for exactly one day and resumed after that.

Little Navyaa and her mommy wondering if God really has a Facebook account??!!

Two days later, I get an e-mail from supposedly a Padre who has received a message from my own personal GUARDIAN ANGEL who has contacted him personally to 'transmit' his message to me!!!

Little Navyaa and her mommy again wondering if God has a Google account??!!

Everyday we see scores of messages on Facebook with heart wrenching photographs asking people to Type Amen or face 10 years of bad luck and I see my friends actually typing Amen on them.
Like if you have the Best Mom in the World... What if I don't press the Like button over there? Will my Mom be termed as the Worst mom in this world??!!
Out of 271 Friends that I have on my FB account, I think there are hardly 20 of them who genuinely read my posts, like my photos. There are other 10 who never even log in to FB but randomly give me a call to talk. Rest all had been added because we either studied together or worked together and now we want to remain in touch and feel jealous with fancy holiday photographs.

When I have to write my feedback on a form after I take any interview these days, my hands shiver and I write almost illegible words which I myself cannot read after five minutes. Why? I use laptop these days. I mean, I have been using laptop since past 10 years now (or more).

I almost feel suicidal some times when I see some of my highly intellectual friends sharing some debatable news item along with their opinions. How can they read so much? Believe me, they are spending too much time on reading incorrect news. News which was created to create tension, to grab the eyeballs and to let down some or the other party/community.

One crime or incident and 10 different point of views. Why? Because everyone is free to give their opinion on this digital platform. It's free. So, post your opinion with a catchy headline and enjoy the show.

We may laugh on this but in India the only channel which gives the news might be DD National. All others are debate channels. And they have online/digital presence as well, in case you miss their SHOW.

This Facebook addict needs a Digital Detoxification therapy. No FACEBOOK TOMORROW. But I will share this on my FB Page before I start this therapy :)

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Dangerous Obsessions

A lady in Jaipur slit the throat of her 4 month old baby girl...
A lady in some city in UP, threw her sister-in-law's few months old baby boy out of the window out of jealousy since she herself had 2 or 3 daughters and her sister-in-law gave birth to a boy...
Both these incidents did not take place in some rural remote part of India, these heinous crimes were committed in Tier 2 cities of India. The lady from Jaipur, I read, was a Delhi University pass out. And these ladies wanted BOYS...

And these incidents took place barely a month after 3 girls made India proud in Olympics, apart from some amazing performances from other girls who unfortunately could not win the medals but made the world sit up and notice them. 

What is our obsession with having boys? What's so special about them? Probably, they can't be raped. Or, they don't have to give the dowry. Or, they can beat up some one. 

Couple of incidents where sons of some petty MLAs or MPs kicked and thrashed and killed someone just because they did not give them a way for overtaking on the road. Some powerful goons or what we call chamchas of our 'Leaders' refuse to pay any toll just because they are related to the bade saab. If someone dares to stop them, they vandalize the toll booths. Did their mothers wanted to give birth to boys for doing these glorious activities?

You grow a boy instilling the fact in him that HE is the supreme power and girls are nothing in comparison with a boy, they will end up raping a girl. In fact, throwing out their own parents from their house.

You nurture a girl without making them ever feel anything lesser than boys, you will probably get her love and support for your entire life and she might even make the world notice her. I completely fail to understand why the females themselves are obsessive about having boys? Because, they were made to grow up to do nothing else in their life apart from getting married, running a house, become a Birth machine and get their kids married.

You let go the expectation of dowry from your prospective future daughter-in-law, you bring in a daughter in your home who will love you unconditionally. You keep on demanding and expecting dowry, you just bring in a girl in your house, who will hate you from her core. Moreover, she will possibly grow into that lady from Jaipur who would kill her own daughter.

It's up to the parents to make the girls set some goals for themselves in their lives. It's not only for boys to do something different with their lives - becoming a cricketer or a rock star or a photographer or a journalist. Yes, the girls should get married and so does boys. Yes, she has to take care of her home and so should the boys. She too can have her own life, her own ambitions, he own friend circle, her own goals, her own passions to follow. Don't pull her down when she is enthusiastic about her dreams, reminding her always that she has a husband, a baby and in-laws and society to take care of. A boy also has a wife, a baby and in-laws and society to take care of. Why, in that case, HE is not reminded of all that?

We have seen so many girls coming from highly orthodox families who denied them basic rights to sanitation and education but they have made everyone proud. Why do they have to struggle their way up always? Probably, that's a wrong statement that I just made. Without supporting my numbers with any fact, why 90% of the girls have to struggle to come out of their closet and shine? Why we, the Educated class, still don't think that our girls can be a sportswoman or a full time artist or a journalist or a bike rider? Why we still frown upon the girls who are not married even when they are 32 years old? Why we still want our daughters to have long hair, wear traditional Indian cloths, come back home before 8 PM, get married by the age of 26, bear at least 2 kids - one boy and one girl...??

It's all linked. First of all, God or any sadhu baba, no one can control if a woman will give birth to a boy or to a girl. Get that fact straight. It probably might be possible by science by controlling some DNAs etc etc but I am sure that solution might be very expensive. So, let's talk about our middle class educated society. Having said that no one control OR even predict whether a woman will give birth to a girl or to a boy, it is stupid to feel angry with your Bahu for giving you a Baby Girl and hate that innocent baby. But that's what happen. So, the neighbors feel pity on you that your bahu gave birth to a girl. Oh, let me remind you, these neighbors are going to just hand over a cover with 101/- only on your grand son's wedding. Point is, don't bother too much about what they say. But that's what we do. We hear to their pity-laden-congratulations and start feeling sorry about having a girl child born in our home. We pass on these negative vibes to our sons, who pass them on to their wives - who is a newbie mom to a girl child. She resists hard to not feel bad about it, but guess what, she is surrounded by 101/- cash giving neighbors and relatives who are continuously feeling pity on her daughter. 'Start saving money and making gold ornaments from now onwards for her wedding', 'girls are so expensive to raise with all their cloths and accessories','don't let her remain outside home after dark', 'get her married before 25 else she might run away with some boy', 'don't get her marry anyone from xyz community. They take heavy dowry', 'now, try for a boy next time'... Phew... So, the parents of the Girl knows that they have a given birth to the burden of their lives.

And, if it's a BOY.... oh, boy. 'He will become next Shah Rukh Khan', 'he is so cute. He will become very famous', 'save him from girls', 'He will surely make your family's name shine', 'you are lucky that you got a boy. Now, you don't need any more kids'. So, the parents of the Boy know that their only hope for name, fame and money (dowry) is their son.

And that's the start of the vicious circle. Educate yourself and your child to become a good human being rather than make them literate with the consciousness of them being a Girl or a Boy and what limitations or power their gender have. Your daughter should not be a birth machine and your boy is not the dowry-earner. 

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Get back the CONTROL

Yes, I have yet again been away from my blog. Being mommy to a hyper active toddler, working in an IT company, a home to take care of and being a wife, daughter and daughter-in-law... That's too much for an average person but guess what, I am not the only one playing so many roles. Almost everyone does that. But somewhere, I have lost control on myself. I have forgotten to be ME. I have shouted at top of my voice and cried so much in past 6-7 months more number of times than I had done in my entire life. 
Some people around me have been trying to console me and telling me to remain calm for they are afraid that I might end up with a heart attack or a sudden death any time now. Some people have constantly been telling me to calm down without realizing that they are, in fact, the reason for all this.
But some thing happened today. I participated in a clay Ganesha making workshop with my 2.5 year old daughter conducted by BalaGokulam Hyd in my apartment. Being 2.5 years old, she was more interested in just making the clay round and applying water. So, it was me who made the Ganesha. During the photo shoot, her Ganesha crash landed on the floor. We came back home and I remade the sculpture. Suddenly, I felt at peace. Call it some divine connection or whatever. But I felt as if I have gone back to my childhood, when I used to be creative, active at sports, agile and HAPPY.

I realized that I used to write on my blog which I have been neglecting for so many months. But enough now. I am going to get back the control on my life. 
I don't want to die shouting and yelling and thinking too much about what someone said to me. I don't want my daughter to miss me in her growing years. I want to be around her till she is old enough to ignore me and be with her friends or studies or activities. So, what am I going to do? Here is a list and I don't know how soon I am going to start doing these but I have to get on them before this year end:
  1. Like it happened today again. Some one shouted at me without realizing his tone and without any valid reason. I ignored him and repeated to myself - 'I am right in what I am doing. This person has always been like that. It's his problem. IGNORE'. I know some of you might think that it is wrong to keep on listening to any garbage and remain silent. But if that other person has always been like that, you have already spent many years to change his attitude and yours too, but nothing has changed, so move on. Why to increase your BP and die?
  2. Indulge in creative activities with my daughter
  3. Do some sort of relaxing activity like Yoga, Walk or Meditation
  4. Write the blog - no particular frequency but take out time, look around what is happening in the world, put down my thoughts. It will actually push me to look outside my immediate circle of husband, baby, home and office
  5. Eat whatever I want, whenever I want - don't feel guilty about eating something lavish without my family. I need to get some ME time. At this time I am not looking to stop eating junk food. Healthy food can come later.
  6. Stop shouting. If my cranky baby is not listening to me when she is crying her lungs out, move out of the scene or pick her up and keep quiet. 
  7. Stop worrying about her regular meals - if she does not finish her portion, let her be. She can sleep with a glass of milk
  8. Read out a story to my daughter every night before she goes to sleep
  9. Develop some good habits - brushing my teeth before I go to sleep, wash my face after I come back from office and before I go to sleep, drink lot of water throughout the day etc. These might sound trivial things to do but they actually help
  10. Regularly talk to my friends over the phone. Not only through Watsapp or Facebook
  11. Once in a week go for a NO PHONE/SOCIAL MEDIA DAY (except calling my parents or emergency messages)
  12. Not sure how and to whom, but I want to get back to writing the letters which I used to do during my childhood days. I have to find out whom to write a letter to. Someone who do not make fun of me for doing this or feel weird about it. Or, I can just write the letters and keep them with me. That has to be figured out.
Writing all this itself is making me feel better and it's high time I do these things before I plunge into depression and make other peoples' lives difficult.