Last week there was a wedding or maybe many weddings nearby. We know it from the music that would start every now and then. One day, the loud music went on till late night. It was our time to sleep and Navyaa was getting irritated with that noise. We kept on trying to sleep however it was not helpful since the music was too loud. All of a sudden, Navyaa blurted out and asked - “aaaah. Mumma, how can I sleep?” and without thinking, I just told her - “Navyaa, close your eyes and just imagine that you are dancing in a baarat with that music”. I have no idea from where I got that and if that really helped or not but she soon fell asleep. The music also stopped 15 minutes past the legally allowable time.
But that random advice that I gave to Navyaa brought me to my favorite topic - The Great Indian Weddings and the baarat. For those who don’t know, it's a procession of singing and dancing family members and friends of the groom from his home to the girl’s home for the wedding ceremony. In North India, many families hire a horse (a mare rather) on which the groom sits and a music band to accompany the Groom and his family.
(for more information - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baraat)
Now, every baarat has a few peculiar participants. You will find them in every baarat. Here is my version of these peculiar characters - baaratis.
The Captain
The reason I have given the name to this particular character is that he is going to be referred to several times. He is the most important character of the baarat.
Who is he - Generally, the groom's maternal or paternal uncle or the cousin elder brother or brother-in-law.
Traits - This person is given some cash by the groom’s father and his responsibility is to ensure that the baarat is getting enough time to dance but also reaches the bride’s place on time. Also, make sure that everyone in the baarat dances.
The Captain does not care if someone likes to dance or not but if your body touches his body, his job responsibility says that he has to make you dance.
Just not that, he must give the due or undue footage to everyone. He does that by showing off that limited amount of cash to the band members, bringing them closer, telling them to play their best tune for this someone-who-just-touched-me so that this person can get that undue importance for 4-5 seconds. Btw, that cash which he just flaunted, goes back safely inside his suit pocket.
A loaded Dad
Who is he - He is a dad of a newborn baby or may be a toddler whose wife just thrusts the child onto his lap because she wants to dance in the baarat. This dad also wants to dance but has a constraint in his lap - his child.
Traits - You can obviously spot them with a child in their lap. Now, since they also want to dance but the child is in his lap, nobody, including the Captain calls him in the center of all the action - the dance arena. So, this loaded dad slowly keeps on making his way closer to the Captain, with a smile, looking as natural as he can. Just at the right moment, this dad touches the Captain enough to make him turn towards him and urge him to dance. That’s it. He gets his 5-seconds of fame with the band playing some peppy music for this dad to dance. He gets back to his original place just in time before his wife spots him dancing with their child still in his lap, as if nothing happened.
Before we move on to our other characters, I must introduce one more party in such baarats. The groom’s family hires a wedding band. However, an uninvited duo of “punjabi dhol wallas” (drums) always join every baarat. These dhols are used to heat up the environment with some high intensity music and dance.
Picture only for representation purpose
The Serpents
Who are they - This is the group of the groom’s friends. Most of the time, they are seen and that too hyperactive only during the baarat, dancing inches away from the dhol wallas.
Honestly, of all the friends invited by the groom, only one or at max two remains close to him. Rest all are here only to drink and dance (and sometimes create unnecessary nuisance, which I hate).
Traits - They do not show their exemplary dancing skills with the hired band. They get their energy and purpose to dance like serpents only once the baarat is intruded by the uninvited dhol wallas and they are 6 pegs down. Exactly at this point, the baarat gets divided into 2 or 3 parts. The first group leading the baarat, far far away from the groom who is getting extremely uncomfortable sitting on that mare, is this Serpents group of friends dancing on the tunes of the dhols. The reason I am calling them serpents is that their favorite dance step is when one of the friends puts a handkerchief in his mouth and holds it like a trumpet and the other one lies down and dances like a snake (Naagin dance, as is popularly known in Hindi). This maneuver helps them get some attention (and a few photographs in the wedding album).
The plain talker
Who is he - He is also one of the friends of the groom.
Traits - He is very popular in his friend circle because he talks a lot and is considered funny. However, he cannot dance (https://youtu.be/dbdtBQ16CXc)
When his serpent friends drag him to dance, he wastes a lot of time just to crack several jokes which nobody can hear since the music is very loud and after wasting several minutes and unheard jokes, he raises his hands just when he sees that the photographer has come very close to the group, twist his waist enough to make his friends erupt into a group noise and… that’s it. He vanishes. By doing this, he has made sure that there is evidence that he did dance.
Unhappy Uncles & Aunties
Who are they - Please refer to my previous blog - https://nikitasdreamland.blogspot.com/2020/11/the-lockdown-uncles-aunts.html
Traits -
They are unhappy about everything
They are not the dancers (not even a bathroom dancer, if there is any such thing)
They do not even have any enthusiasm for dancing
So, since they are unhappy about everything, they are always angry about the baarat being so late, even if the convoy is well within time. They charge up to our Captain to complain about being late but Captain being Captain. The moment they touch him, as per his job responsibility, he takes out that same note of cash to call the band closer to him, gets these uncles or aunts the required attention and urges them to dance. But they shout at him which obviously he cannot hear and march off. By then, without their knowledge, their two hands had done something to be called as a dance and they were photographed as well.
Non-Dancer Uncles & Aunties
Who are they - They are the same as above.
Traits -
They are unhappy about everything
They are not the dancers (not even a bathroom dancer, if there is any such thing)
They DO HAVE the enthusiasm for dancing
Now, they are unhappy not because of the baarat getting late but because our Captain did not even call them to the center stage for dancing. They charge up to our Captain to complain about being late but Captain being Captain. The moment they touch him, as per his job responsibility, he takes out that same note of cash to call the band closer to him, gets these uncles or aunts the required attention and urges them to dance. And that’s it. They dance their hearts out with their two left feet and two left hands, all four of them bouncing off in different directions all at the same time. Once done, they shout at our Captain which obviously he cannot hear and march off.
The ladies of the family
Who are they - pretty obvious.
Traits -
Generally speaking, a day before the actual wedding ceremony a music and dance night is organised. These ladies have already danced to their hearts’ content last night and now they are wearing almost half of their respective husbands’ and their own bank balances in the form of heavy dresses, jewellery and make-up. Still, they make sure that the Captain gets the band and the dhol wallas to their side of the baarat from time to time so that they can show the same dance moves that they showed last night.
By the time our Baarat reaches the bride’s place, are welcomed and people get inside, our uninvited dhol duo catches up with our Captain to now be paid for their uncalled services (even though, throughout the procession, they had already pocketed several currency notes from various people). Now is the time that the Captain will finally use the limited cash given to him by the groom’s father. But, just not like that. For the last time, the groom’s friends, who are several pegs down, are used in this wedding. Our Captain tells the dhol duo to play their best music to “earn” this cash reward and makes these drunk friends dance. Once either of them gets tired, the cash is handed over to the Dhol duo and our Captain can now enjoy the wedding.
Oh, any of my cousins (specially, the male ones), please get married immediately after Corona limitations are lifted off. I am badly missing attending the weddings, and the baarat.
