A Happy 78th year of independence. Really?!

A few years ago, Bollywood celebrity Aamir Khan shared a personal conversation with his then-wife Kiran Rao about feeling unsafe in India and considering relocating. They were harshly criticized, labeled as traitors, simply because they were public figures. Yet, many Indian families have similar discussions daily.

As an ordinary citizen, I'm proud of my culture and heritage, but I find the country increasingly unbearable. I'm fearful for my loved ones—my daughter, mother, toddler, and friends.

On India's 78th Independence Day, I question whether we truly deserve this independence. We’ve always been told India is the world’s largest democracy, but is democracy even functioning anymore? Theoretically, yes; practically, no.

Inhumane behavior is escalating daily. Rape. A crime which in itself is gruesome. There was a time when the 'girls' were labelled as reasons to call for rape as they would wear 'provocative' cloths and mingle with men. Can an infant be wearing provocative cloths? Can a wheelchair bound 80 years old lady be wearing provocative cloths? Can a little boy be the reason for the 'invitation' to sexually molest him? Can a doctor on duty be calling for a brutal rape? Not just that, but with glass shreds, needles, cigarette butts and what not in her private parts? I mean, what goes on in the minds of such perverts? The cruelty is unimaginable. As I write this, I'm trembling with anger and fear after reading about yet another rape case in Kolkata.

Despite celebrating Indian women's achievements, many still consider daughters a burden and uphold regressive traditions like dowry. Educated or ambitious women are expected to bear the sole responsibility for home and family, while men are allowed to rest because they "provide." We are in 2024, yet these archaic mindsets persist. We worship goddesses but continue to oppress and harm women in real life.

"How dare she is fulfilling her dreams."

The roots of our problems lie in two areas: India's history of colonization and an uneducated population (not just in literacy but true education). Years of being ruled have embedded a "hoard money and power" mentality in our DNA, something that can’t easily be changed. Those with access to money exploit it, while others, desperate, resort to inhumane lengths to get it.

Our uneducated population believes in endless reproduction, preferring male offspring regardless of the consequences. This has led to a severe imbalance: more people, fewer jobs, and a growing number of egotistical, unemployed males who feel entitled to act out violently.

In our 78th year of independence, India has become an angry, unhappy, unsafe, and corrupt nation. Concrete jungles replace green ones, and jealousy and perversion are rampant. Yet, those who speak out are labeled traitors.

I’m immensely proud of my country, but I am also a stressed and sad woman, still striving for a safe, successful, and happy life here.

Just how much is too much?!

A couple of months back I had joined an online course on Digital Content Writing and our trainer decided to have an icebreaking session by throwing in a topic for our discussion - AI: can it replace the writers/authors and content writers? My take on it was that any creative field will always look for the human, emotional touch and cannot and should not be replaced by any technology. The hardcore writers still prefer to pick up their pen and paper to write. For non-creative fields, it can definitely be a big helpful technology.

Though I had zero idea about AI or ChatGPT till that day, we had gradually been introduced to this tool to keep ourselves upgraded, with a caution: always be a writer at heart. Use AI as a helper.

However, there are few who would use caution. In a competitive world, I know those in this field who blatantly use AI to 'create the original content' before anyone else does. Still, creating content may seem like a harmless usage of AI. It gets ugly when those with the criminal mindset grab any latest technology to rob people of their hard earned money and respect.

We were all enjoying AI generated images of celebs - the cast of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. if they wore Indian ethnic, Avengers on Indian streets, Ed Shereen enjoying Indian street food, 'living' Ram lalla idol, and so on. But it soon turned out to be a nightmare for celebrities and several people when their morphed and AI generated images were used for not-so-pleasant purposes and obviously, without their consent.  A few months ago, a well known music composer of the Indian music industry created a duet song using the AI generated voice of two late veteran singers and though divided reactions, but a lot of people were in awe of what this new technology could do.

"We could literally keep on getting blessed with new songs in the voice of our favourite singers even when they are long gone. Being made 'amar' in true sense"

Now the same technology is creating havoc when people with criminal bend of mind are generating voice of your loved ones begging to save their lives by giving money to these impersonators!

I read about it a few weeks ago. One morning, I just watched a reel by the Tech expert Rajiv Makhni on how criminals are posing as CBI or Narcotics officers and claiming that your family member has committed a gruesome crime and if you want them to not get tangled in the web of police and court hearings, pay a certain amount of money. I downloaded this reel to share with my family and guess what, my father told that my first cousin just had a narrow escape with his quick thinking. Another cousin of mine had also got such call about his son. Luckily at that very moment, his son was sitting right next to him. But they were lucky. Everyone is not. Criminals have siphoned off lakhs of money by misusing this technology.

Many months back I had watched a video where the man removed the SIM card from his mobile and even switched it off and roamed about in the entire city throughout the day. Still, at the end of the day, his phone had the entire details about where all he went.

Can I just throw away my 'smartphone' which is literally listening to me all the time? Probably, smartphones are better listeners than our husbands! Jokes apart, even if I would want to throw it away, I don't think I can. Every communication whether it is from banks, schools, offices etc are on Whatsapp. People are being discouraged from 'crowding' institutions. Do as much online as you can. Even the artists now have to use the social media to reach out to the larger audience. On one hand, government is encouraging digital transactions. On the other hand, well known and some of the biggest companies in the world are selling our data.

'Once you have created a digital footprint, you become a part of the web. You cannot escape. Every movement of yours is seen, every word that you speak is heard, even every thought in your mind is being read.'

Its like a few extremely intelligent people all around the world work really hard to solve the problems of the world using the technology and even before the world could start seeing the benefits of those inventions, the criminals start working on the crimes that they are going to commit using these latest sophisticated technologies. We step on those marshy patches to use these advancements and by the time we realise that we are getting trapped, its too late to come out of it. Who knew that mobiles which were extremely bulky and expensive and owned by the exclusive set of people would one day enslave the entire world?

Sometimes I just wonder about how much technology is too much technology?

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Yes. Pronounce this title and you get a chance to spend a lovely evening with me. I know, not a very promising prize. You would rather not pronounce it. So, what is it?

Living a generally mundane life, I saw the Whatsapp status video of my mentor (for all practical purposes) in the writing area and my daughter's Creative Writing teacher - Anupama Dalmia, where she was playing this "guessing" game. The question was - which is that word in English Dictionary/language which was actually a song but it became so popular that it was included in the language. And the video ended there...

With my limited exposure and love for English songs, I made no efforts and asked for the answer. She - equally aware of my limitation - immediately gave me the answer. And it was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. It took me a few seconds to figure it out that it was not a typing mistake and I asked for the Youtube link, if available. She sent me that too. My mind was blown away. Whoever thought of that word and the lyrics of the song, who composed it, who sang it...

Such a small thing but it got me excited as a child.

Once, a family friend and a life coach, told me. Our brain needs to be challenged and indulged into something new every now and then. You go to office from the same route every day. Try a new route some day. You use your right hand to brush your teeth. Try brushing them with your left hand some day. See the fun. I did some of these things and I was totally amazed. I think doing such things actually increases your concentration amd makes you stay in that moment, which is something very important. Thinking of 10 other things while doing that one thing actually increases anxiety and lack of concentration. So when I was brushing my teeth with left hand, my mind was totally into it. No other thoughts. But our resistance to do things differently also increases with our age. In fact, seeing somebody do something differently makes us (at least me and a few others that I know) irritated. Young kids are the best example. If I make some stupid sound or a gesture, my baby boy burst into laughter and I am like, hello, what was so funny about it. But he likes it. The babies use the 'tools' that we give to them in unimaginable ways. Give them a spoon and they may use it as a tool to do everything but to eat. Thats curiosity. Unfortunately, our curiosity slows down as we age. 

I am on a BREAK

 

This is something that I wrote within 4-5 minutes for a Daily Prompt from a Bloggers' platform but due to some issue, could not get published there...

Prompt word for the day was BREAK...

Part 1: The Unnamed Caregiver

The first “Human of my life” that came to my mind the moment I thought about this series was someone who took care of me, without being asked to do so, during my pregnancy. Since this episode happened during my pregnancy, I wanted to share this beautiful story with several other fellow-mommies and that’s why I had posted it on another online platform that is exclusively for the Mothers – Momspresso.

Here is the link to the first part - https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/nikita/article/humans-of-my-life-part1-the-unnamed-caregiver-7iqpmo18cftg

New Series - The Humans of My Life

Life is short and unpredictable. We keep coming across life coaches who suggest we to not wait to do something in our lives but just do it. Many of us have even seen that happen.

In our everyday busy lives, we are so engrossed with our mundane jobs that we rarely get time to take a pause, appreciate little things around us that give us joy. We are surrounded by news of dangerous crimes and criminals that we just cannot see some beautiful people who might have selflessly helped us in some way. 

I, too, have several instances where I kept on thinking about calling someone and talking to them or reaching out and convey my heartfelt gratitude to them and regretting my laziness as I lost touch with these people or lost them forever.

“I will call her on this Saturday”, I thought to myself very recently, only to know that she left us forever on Friday – a day before I was thinking to call her.

“I will retire after 3 years Nikita and I am not going to miss even one single Bharatanatyam performance of my daughter”, said my ex-Manager, only that a massive cardiac-arrest took him away forever the very next morning.

I cannot undo what I have done, or rather not done. However, what I can do now is to think about and express my gratitude towards these angels and heroes of my life – The Humans of My Life.

In this series – The Humans of My Life – I am going to share the stories of several strangers who I might have met just for a day or over a period of time and they helped me in some way or the other and left a major mark on my life.

A grand funeral

“Guys. I have sad news for all of you”, said Swatee to her group.

Group - It was a group of five, nicknamed SAVAN, using the first letter of the names of each of the members in the order of their ages. Swatee, Ankur, Vipul, Anurag, and Nikki. They were cousins. Swatee, Ankur, and Anurag were real siblings while Vipul and Nikki were the children of their aunty. All of them were very close to each other and most of their summer vacations were spent together.

Everybody looked up as Swatee announced the sad news.

“What is it?”, asked Ankur

“He is no more. I just checked on him”

“Oh no. I knew something was wrong with him. He was sitting still for a long time there. God knows if he passed away when we saw him yesterday night. You guys did not let me go near him. We could have saved him somehow”, said Vipul

“Where is he now?”, asked Anurag

“Still there. In the corner of the garden. I went near him and called out his name many times. When he did not respond, I went close and nudged him. That’s when I realized that he is no more”, explained Swatee. 

“He must get a very nice burial spot and a grand funeral. Shall we inform our mothers?”, asked Vipul

“No. They won’t allow us to do the last rites. Let’s do it ourselves. How about making his grave right there at his favorite spot - the corner of the garden?”, proposed Ankur

“Won’t our mothers scold us?”, asked the youngest of all, Nikki

“Don’t worry. Now, go and get a cloth to cover him. You can find a white one in my cupboard”, instructed Swatee and Nikki took off.

Everybody got up and went outside and made sure that nobody was there. As it was mid of June, the hot weather made sure that all the adults were sitting inside. Nobody can force the kids to stay indoors though. The boys dug the grave at the corner of the garden. By that time, Nikki had already got the white cloth. All of them gave one final teary look to their friend and covered him. Ankur and Vipul picked him up and lowered him in the grave.

They all stood around it and then slowly started covering it with mud. Everyone stood in silence, tears rolling down their cheeks. To everyone’s surprise, Anurag suddenly ran inside and reappeared after some five minutes. He came near all of them, made his way closer to the grave, and planted a flag that he just made, with their friend’s name on it.

“Goodbye, my friend. Rest in peace”, said a teary-eyed Anurag

Everyone shared their memories about him and occasionally had a brief laugh thinking about the precious moments spent with the departed soul.

“He always liked this corner. Whatever the season be, however hot or cold it might be, we could always find him here”, remembered Ankur

“And he instantly became our friend, isn’t it? None of us hesitated to play with him the moment we saw him”, said Vipul

“Yes. May he rest in peace”, finally said Swatee and placed some fresh flowers near the grave

“Nikki, won’t you say anything for him?”, asked Vipul

“Ummm… I… What do I say? He was very friendly and free-spirited. Always jumping and hopping around. Do you all remember his long tongue? I freaked out when I first saw him catching that big mosquito with his tongue. I wish we could have played a little longer with him. He used to play hide & seek with us here in the garden and it was always so difficult to spot him, for his green color. I’ll miss playing with him now. 

Goodbye dear friend, Froggie”

And SAVAN bid adieu to their friend, a green frog, who they had fondly named as Froggie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is what our childhood was made of. Memorable summer vacations and stories to narrate to our next generation and laugh about them. This story is part fiction and part real. The real part is that we did name our group as SAVAN and had also performed the funeral of a frog. But we were not that dramatic in those days. We still are not!

The Baarat Mix

 Last week there was a wedding or maybe many weddings nearby. We know it from the music that would start every now and then. One day, the loud music went on till late night. It was our time to sleep and Navyaa was getting irritated with that noise. We kept on trying to sleep however it was not helpful since the music was too loud. All of a sudden, Navyaa blurted out and asked - “aaaah. Mumma, how can I sleep?” and without thinking, I just told her - “Navyaa, close your eyes and just imagine that you are dancing in a baarat with that music”. I have no idea from where I got that and if that really helped or not but she soon fell asleep. The music also stopped 15 minutes past the legally allowable time.

But that random advice that I gave to Navyaa brought me to my favorite topic - The Great Indian Weddings and the baarat. For those who don’t know, it's a procession of singing and dancing family members and friends of the groom from his home to the girl’s home for the wedding ceremony. In North India, many families hire a horse (a mare rather) on which the groom sits and a music band to accompany the Groom and his family. 

(for more information - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baraat)

Now, every baarat has a few peculiar participants. You will find them in every baarat. Here is my version of these peculiar characters - baaratis.

1. The Captain

The reason I have given the name to this particular character is that he is going to be referred to several times. He is the most important character of the baarat.

Who is he - Generally, the groom's maternal or paternal uncle or the cousin elder brother or brother-in-law.

Traits - This person is given some cash by the groom’s father and his responsibility is to ensure that the baarat is getting enough time to dance but also reaches the bride’s place on time. Also, make sure that everyone in the baarat dances. 

The Captain does not care if someone likes to dance or not but if your body touches his body, his job responsibility says that he has to make you dance.

Just not that, he must give the due or undue footage to everyone. He does that by showing off that limited amount of cash to the band members, bringing them closer, telling them to play their best tune for this someone-who-just-touched-me so that this person can get that undue importance for 4-5 seconds. Btw, that cash which he just flaunted, goes back safely inside his suit pocket.

2. A loaded Dad

Who is he - He is a dad of a newborn baby or may be a toddler whose wife just thrusts the child onto his lap because she wants to dance in the baarat. This dad also wants to dance but has a constraint in his lap - his child.

Traits - You can obviously spot them with a child in their lap. Now, since they also want to dance but the child is in his lap, nobody, including the Captain calls him in the center of all the action - the dance arena. So, this loaded dad slowly keeps on making his way closer to the Captain, with a smile, looking as natural as he can. Just at the right moment, this dad touches the Captain enough to make him turn towards him and urge him to dance. That’s it. He gets his 5-seconds of fame with the band playing some peppy music for this dad to dance. He gets back to his original place just in time before his wife spots him dancing with their child still in his lap, as if nothing happened.

Before we move on to our other characters, I must introduce one more party in such baarats. The groom’s family hires a wedding band. However, an uninvited duo of “punjabi dhol wallas” (drums) always join every baarat. These dhols are used to heat up the environment with some high intensity music and dance. 

Picture only for representation purpose

3. The Serpents

Who are they - This is the group of the groom’s friends. Most of the time, they are seen and that too hyperactive only during the baarat, dancing inches away from the dhol wallas. 

Honestly, of all the friends invited by the groom, only one or at max two remains close to him. Rest all are here only to drink and dance (and sometimes create unnecessary nuisance, which I hate). 

Traits - They do not show their exemplary dancing skills with the hired band. They get their energy and purpose to dance like serpents only once the baarat is intruded by the uninvited dhol wallas and they are 6 pegs down. Exactly at this point, the baarat gets divided into 2 or 3 parts. The first group leading the baarat, far far away from the groom who is getting extremely uncomfortable sitting on that mare, is this Serpents group of friends dancing on the tunes of the dhols. The reason I am calling them serpents is that their favorite dance step is when one of the friends puts a handkerchief in his mouth and holds it like a trumpet and the other one lies down and dances like a snake (Naagin dance, as is popularly known in Hindi). This maneuver helps them get some attention (and a few photographs in the wedding album).

4. The plain talker 

Who is he - He is also one of the friends of the groom. 

Traits - He is very popular in his friend circle because he talks a lot and is considered funny. However, he cannot dance (https://youtu.be/dbdtBQ16CXc)

When his serpent friends drag him to dance, he wastes a lot of time just to crack several jokes which nobody can hear since the music is very loud and after wasting several minutes and unheard jokes, he raises his hands just when he sees that the photographer has come very close to the group, twist his waist enough to make his friends erupt into a group noise and… that’s it. He vanishes. By doing this, he has made sure that there is evidence that he did dance.

5. Unhappy Uncles & Aunties

Who are they - Please refer to my previous blog - https://nikitasdreamland.blogspot.com/2020/11/the-lockdown-uncles-aunts.html

Traits -

1. They are unhappy about everything

2. They are not the dancers (not even a bathroom dancer, if there is any such thing)

3. They do not even have any enthusiasm for dancing

So, since they are unhappy about everything, they are always angry about the baarat being so late, even if the convoy is well within time. They charge up to our Captain to complain about being late but Captain being Captain. The moment they touch him, as per his job responsibility, he takes out that same note of cash to call the band closer to him, gets these uncles or aunts the required attention and urges them to dance. But they shout at him which obviously he cannot hear and march off. By then, without their knowledge, their two hands had done something to be called as a dance and they were photographed as well.

6. Non-Dancer Uncles & Aunties

Who are they - They are the same as above.

Traits - 

1. They are unhappy about everything

2. They are not the dancers (not even a bathroom dancer, if there is any such thing)

3. They DO HAVE the enthusiasm for dancing

Now, they are unhappy not because of the baarat getting late but because our Captain did not even call them to the center stage for dancing. They charge up to our Captain to complain about being late but Captain being Captain. The moment they touch him, as per his job responsibility, he takes out that same note of cash to call the band closer to him, gets these uncles or aunts the required attention and urges them to dance. And that’s it. They dance their hearts out with their two left feet and two left hands, all four of them bouncing off in different directions all at the same time. Once done, they shout at our Captain which obviously he cannot hear and march off. 

7. The ladies of the family

Who are they - pretty obvious. 

Traits - 

Generally speaking, a day before the actual wedding ceremony a music and dance night is organised. These ladies have already danced to their hearts’ content last night and now they are wearing almost half of their respective husbands’ and their own bank balances in the form of heavy dresses, jewellery and make-up. Still, they make sure that the Captain gets the band and the dhol wallas to their side of the baarat from time to time so that they can show the same dance moves that they showed last night.

By the time our Baarat reaches the bride’s place, are welcomed and people get inside, our uninvited dhol duo catches up with our Captain to now be paid for their uncalled services (even though, throughout the procession, they had already pocketed several currency notes from various people). Now is the time that the Captain will finally use the limited cash given to him by the groom’s father. But, just not like that. For the last time, the groom’s friends, who are several pegs down, are used in this wedding. Our Captain tells the dhol duo to play their best music to “earn” this cash reward and makes these drunk friends dance. Once either of them gets tired, the cash is handed over to the Dhol duo and our Captain can now enjoy the wedding.

Oh, any of my cousins (specially, the male ones), please get married immediately after Corona limitations are lifted off. I am badly missing attending the weddings, and the baarat.

The Lockdown Uncles & Aunts

Before I get into the actual objects of my post, let me give a quick little background about the real life uncles and aunties that I am going to compare them with.

Most of my North Indian friends would immediately understand. For the benefit of my non-North Indian friends - in every family - immediate or a little distant - there are always those uncles and aunties who are given undue respect specially during a wedding in the family even if they practically do no work except cribbing about almost everything.

“So late in serving the dinner”

“What kind of return gifts are these? Huh… In my daughter’s wedding, I gave them so much and yet this is what I got”

“Food was bland and absolutely cold”

“Why are they dancing so much on this loud music?”

“Chalo, finally he got married, though the girl is just okay in looks. God only knows what did they see in her”

… and many such useless dialogues.

Most of the hard work is always done by the groom or bride’s parents, brothers, sisters, sister-in-laws and even friends. This breed of relatives does nothing except such cribbing and yet they are placed on the pedestal by the groom or bride’s parents and showered with gifts.

Anyway. I almost always get pretty excited about weddings and what all goes behind the scenes. But I promise, this post is not about the weddings. I just wanted to give a background of the nature of such “unique relatives”. It’s true that I am missing attending any weddings and the food and the gossip. Shush… Stop… No more wedding talks.

So, recently we celebrated the bright Indian festival of Diwali and with Diwali comes a strange tradition of cleaning the house. It’s good in a way but very tiring. This year while taking this annual tradition forward, I gave special attention to some of the things in the house and could not help but compare them with those uncles and aunties that I just explained above. 

Now, everyone of you definitely has at least one such uncle or aunty in your family. Think about them and read the rest of the post.

Because of the lockdown and compulsory Work From Home for the majority of us, some of these things have been savagely ignored exactly as the family ignores those uncles and aunties.

Wrist Watches - 

I love wearing wrist watches and was almost about to give myself one on this birthday but then lockdown happened. Four of our watches (mine and Mr. Husband’s) are placed right in the center of our home. Although, poor fellows have been ignored. Yesterday, after a really long time, I thought to wear one and guess how it behaved? Just like that uncle of yours that you have kept in your mind.

“I have been here only for several months. You did not even check me or pick me up or wear me. Now, you want to show off. No. I will not work”

Poor fellow did not realize that I already had it’s replacement - the mobile phone.

IGNORED!

Formal/Party footwear - 

The doors of our wooden shoe rack expanded when it was raining very hard in Hyderabad. Then they shrunk back to their original size and the cycle repeated a couple of times. However, they were never opened since March 2020 for many months. No office or school, no party or outing - no shoes. Only chappals. 

Finally, one day my husband announced that he is taking our daughter downstairs for cycling and she excitedly opened the rack (with great difficulty - saw the face of your uncle?) and tried one pair of shoes after another. None fitted her. All tight.

“You forgot that you used to wear me whenever you went downstairs for playing? Now, you have not looked after me for several months. I will not fit in”

Poor party bellies helped her for a few weeks and then we went to Decathlon and got her a new pair of sports shoes. 

IGNORED YET AGAIN!

Again, for Diwali, our cousin invited us over for dinner and I decided to wear my high heels footwear that I bought last December. I lay in the same position for many months and when I took her out, the strap just refused to get back in its shape. It took me some time (read: pleading) to convince it to get back in shape so that I can wear it and take it with me to the party. It obliged. I wore them. Thanked and have stuffed it back in the same place only to be seen next year. Yes, I cheated this “aunty” of mine.

Formal shirts/trousers/Indian wear - 

Normally (pre-lockdown) whenever I would clean Mr. Husband’s wardrobe, I would neatly place the formal shirts and trousers on the middle shelf - the most sought after berth of the almirah and the t-shirts would be kept on the top shelf since they were used only on Fridays or weekends. 

Similarly, my office kurtas and leggings.

Ever since the work from home had started (March, 2020), the new formals are the T-shirts and track pants or shorts and so the positions changed. I know, the “uncles and aunties” felt bad however, those who are helpful would get the best place. Ain't it?

One day I announced to my wardrobe that they are going to get new friends soon since Lifestyle had put up a stall in my apartment’s Club House. My office wears got excited and “proud”. Poor fellows felt IGNORED yet again when I introduced them with my new track pants and T-shirts.

Occasionally, I give them some (undue) respect and wear them. They feel happy. Then I wash them, iron them, fold them nicely and back in the cupboard to be seen after many weeks. While I am sweating hard to lose a few kilograms from my body and a couple of inches from my waist, these “uncles and aunties” sitting in my cupboard are praying hard that I gain extra weight and inches so that I could not fit into those. But little are they aware that I can always order big size T-shirts and new relatives (read: kurtis & leggings).

There were several other such “uncles and aunties” in my home (car battery was another one, btw). Tell me what are your “ignored-during-lockdown/WFH” objects or things in your home in the comments section below.

The Struggle is Real

You remember watching those romantic scenes or songs in several Bollywood movies in rain? The heroine looks sensuous and the hero most desirable. The setting and mood takes you to the other world. You are happy, almost immersed in the scene...

"What the hell? Close that window. The rain has just changed the direction. Leave that one closed for now. Hurry up or that rain will make our bed wet." 

Did the reality hit you? I hate Bollywood movies for this. The colorful funky colleges, love at first sight, and the romantic rain sequences. All fake.

Come back to the real middle class flat dweller's life and here is how the rainy season looks like:

1. The rain does not fall down straight. The serious spell of rain is accompanied with wind and makes it fall in any direction but straight down. For people like us, who took pride in owning the corner flat, it's the payback time. We keep on running around to close and open the windows as per the rain's direction.
2. When we were small children, we used to enjoy the smell of the rain. Now, the rainy season does not bring that earthy smell but whatever smell it brings, it sure immerse itself into everything. The cloths, the food, the books, the bed-sheet, the cupboard, the child, parents, husband, myself - everyone and everything carries the same smell - of dampness.
3. For a mother of a 6 yo, the only part of the flat that provides some privacy and "me time" is the washroom. Take your phone or take your book or just nothing but closing the washroom door's latch brings that relief. Come rain and the wooden doors swell up. They just refuse to close. Now, I am forced to use the washroom for its original use. No more that peaceful corner cos the door does not close. 
4. The ginger tea... Wow. Is it? When the monsoon gets in the full swing, 90% of the family members start coughing. Now the ginger is not used to make tea to accompany the pakodas but to make the kaadha for the coughing members. 
5. You sure feel sleepy or you want to spend some cozy time in your bedroom. Nah ah. Your bed, the chairs and any available space that you can see has your cloths spread out. The cloths washed today takes a free trip of the entire house throughout the day and finally is ready for you to wear after 4 days. If you are in hurry to wear them, iron them up.
6. How much time you spent to decide the color and texture of your walls? Thoughtfully handpicked wall decorations... Well, the continuous rain has left a sweet love bite on your walls. You see that? That wet damp patch. 

Hollywood movies are one step ahead. Jurassic Park, Godzilla, Titanic and so on. How much water they might have wasted to shoot them? Anyway. In those Hollywood movies, their phones continue to work even when they have been getting wet. My bloody phone starts misbehaving even when I pick it up with 3 wet fingers! Their cars, phones, guns, heroines - everything works. Here, just seeing the clouds, our Tata Sky and electricity goes off. 

And the most irritating moment award goes to - when the sky goes pitch dark and it starts with a drizzle. You start feeling happy. You dash out to take the cloths stand inside to save your almost dried up cloths from getting wet again. It rains for.... full 3 minutes and then the clouds fly away and the sun smiles back at you. Almost mockingly. 

No power, coughing family members, damp flat full of wet cloths and closed windows and doors. That's what the real monsoon looks like. I am not 

even talking about the flood hit areas. 

"Rim jhim gire saawan"

"Ek ladki bheegi bhaagi si"

"Jo haal dil ka"

....

....

like, seriously?

Hats off to the Teachers

Alright. So many a times my husband had suggested me to take up the teaching job. Though, I had almost every time declined it since I am struggling with my one child at home and cannot even fathom the thought of being surrounded by 20 toddlers or teenagers. But secretly even I wanted to take up teaching since I am very good at giving the gyaan and “explaining” things in real good details. I know, that’s not the only attribute of being a teacher. The most important quality that one must possess, especially if you want to teach pre-primary or primary students, is PATIENCE, which I clearly lack.

Anyway. With COVID hit situation around the world, my daughter was lavishly enjoying her “holidays” and being away from school and seeing her parents 24 X 7 around her. Suddenly, to her utter shock, her school announced starting virtual classes. No, it was not her who was shocked, it was her mommy, uhhhh – I. She was happy but we were apprehensive about those virtual classes, that too she got the afternoon slot of 12:15 till 3:00 PM. For the first time in probably five years, I really liked my husband’s work schedule which starts post-lunch. For all these years, I would hate it. But his schedule means that most of the days, he could lend his laptop for our daughter’s classes and be around her instead of me. But an invisible pact signed among us – first preference, Mr. Husband’s laptop and time; second – mine and if both of us have any meetings/urgent office work, then it’s her grandmother’s iPad and she would go through the torture of being around her. Errr… I mean, she would be around her if she needs any assistance.

Day 1 – Connect and Bond session – went well. Kids were happy, teacher was able to engage them, and we got some time to feel happy that our daughter is happily eating away her teacher’s head.

Day 2 – Started off really well. Were amazed at her teachers’ patience and how they were handling the kids and sometimes their parents as well, since some of the kids had to also switch the online links for Language classes.

Day 3 – Oh, we have settled down now. All good. I just happened to come to the same room where my daughter was taking her classes and decided to sit down to have my lunch. That was their music class. Smiling to myself, I even went back to my school days where my music teacher would always struggle with me. And that’s when I heard one of the classmates of our daughter call out for his Music Sir’s attention.

Boy – “Sirrrrr”

Teacher – “Yes my child”

Boy – “Sirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

Teacher – “Yes beta. Tell me”

Boy – “Sirrrr. When will ma’am (their class teacher) come back? This class is soooooooo boring”

I almost missed the bite and I and my husband looked at each other with our respective mouths open.

Our Daughter – “Yes Sirrrrrrrrrr. This is such a boring class”

My mouth managed to open even more bigger.

We tried to exchange some warnings to our daughter with our big wide eyes. She was courteous enough to put herself on mute and tell us – “what? This is really a very boring class”

When we asked her why, since we saw that she was enjoying the song her teacher was teaching? She was like, “yeah, I know but its sooooooooooo boring” (while literally making a big round circle with her head and upper half body).

Thankfully, music teacher’s supporting teacher came to his rescue and engaged the kids by teaching some virtual classes protocols and igniting some excitement by telling that sir will now teach the song along with the instrument. Kids came back on track and I managed to finish up my food. Some kids here and there were like – “Sirrrr, I want to go to the washroom”, “Sir, I am hungry. I want to have food”, “Sir, when will this class get over”

Day 4 – Again, started off really well. Kids were showing off how “wonderfully” they spent the weekend. Post lunch was the Dance class.

Sir started off by making the required adjustments to the sound, laptop screen, placing kids away from laptops and so on.

One of the boys – “Sirrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

Teacher – “Yes beta. First you learn these steps and then I will listen to all of you”

Boy – “Sirrrrrrrrrrrr”

Teacher – “Yes. Tell me”

Boy – “Sirrrr. You are looking like a girl”

Teacher – “Is it? Why do you say so beta?”

(silence – clearly the boy’s parent has put him on mute while being hidden away from the camera)

Teacher – with a smile, he literally checked himself – trouser all good, t-shirt is fine, shoes all okay. “Alright beta. Doesn’t matter. Just enjoy the dance”

It’s just been four days of virtual classes and I already have two things to share - 

1. Teachers have put in immense work and dedication to make sure that they are able to teach the kids as much as  possible without wasting their year, even if that means working for longer hours by taking the same sessions twice a day or working even after the classes to prepare teaching material so that they can pass on the concepts to the kids virtually as well. Our curriculum and the teaching material were not “virtual ready” but they had made it. Hats off to all the teachers.
2. Secondly, I am not going to take up teaching ever. The way our daughter’s teachers have been handling a group of 15 toddlers with such patience and smiles on their faces, if I had been in their places, either I would have disconnected the call or given an earful to them.

We have all sort of parents.

Some of us wanted schools to start the classes, even if online, since it’s so hard to keep them engaged with our own office work and any further delay would mean a rushed session for this year. Some of us do not want online classes since it means “even more” screen time, or we don’t have proper resources to support online classes.

Some of us think that teachers cannot get or give the required attention with online classes. Some of us think that ample attention is being given.

Some of us see it as the new mechanism from schools to “extort” more money from us in the name of supporting infrastructure for virtual classes. Some of us understand that it’s required in this time when we don’t know when will schools go back to “normal” on-campus operations.

Whichever type of parents you may encounter, know this that we have immense respect for all the wonderful teachers. Their work has increased manifold. What they would teach once in a day, they now are teaching twice a day to maintain a small group for virtual classes.

All the resources which they had in school are now hand-made or managed by them.

They have to spend extra time and so much more effort to prepare teaching material so that they can pass on the concepts to their students during virtual sessions, which are so different than physical classroom sessions.

The amount of energy spent on making everyone maintain the decorum, the patience to listen to all the banters from the students and yet bringing them back on track and getting their attention to take the huge yearly syllabus forward.

From our side – whoever can afford to attend the virtual classes, we should help them by making sure that our kids – younger or older ones – understands the importance of joining the classes on time, being on mute when teacher is talking and listening to instructions properly.

It’s a different time which needs to be dealt with differently. They are trying their best to teach our kids. We better respect them and their efforts. Yeah, I do have grievances but that’s with the school. Not the teachers.