Monday, October 5, 2009

I hate this...

I hate this. Why is it that your are so happy and jovial today and the other day you are the most depressing being on the earth? And mind it, this is not only with females, though, mostly it is, but not always. Yesterday my friend was feeling very low because of some reason of which he himself was not sure of. I was telling him to keep calm, it happens. And today, I was the victim of this situation.
The perfect setting: when you are all alone, there is no one with you to talk to face-to-face, you start thinking about your perfect future but ends up thinking what all wrong things you have done in the past and what rubbish are you doing in present, and you start blaming yourself completely for that. Its so weird. You force yourself to come out of it. But you cannot.
I put on the loudest music on my laptop, but myself shuts it off. I put on the TV but finds it the most boring device. I starts chatting with a friend, who is pulling my leg and I end up scolding him, for no apparent fault of his. You try to sound so casual and happy to your family members even if you are not. You discuss all such things with them which have no relevance and importance just because you are afraid that they should not get hold of your off mood. And there I sit in silence, with all negative thoughts which has hijacked my mind. I hate this. I have no clue how will I wake up tomorrow morning. I have no idea if I would be able to sleep tonight.
I HATE this and everytime I so earnestly wish that such situation never re-appears.
I know this post is so depressing, but thats my other side, can't help it. And sorry to my very dear friend who was at the receiving end for no fault of his.

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