The famous EGO GAME

From past few weeks and months I have being witnessing a very weird scene but something which is not at all uncommon in organisations – Unhealthy and unnecessary Competition between Leaders. Not that I am seeing or hearing about this for the first time but every time I see this happening, I just can’t help but travel back in time and remember one of the most powerful Team Building activities that I have ever been a part of.

It was in May or June of 2008 when I had just joined 3i Infotech Limited, my first job. We were a batch of good 100+ MBA graduates who had joined the company and our induction was in Mumbai. We were made to go through many sessions to induct us in the Company and train us to work in a corporate environment. At the tail end of this induction month, we were taken to Garudmaachi (an outdoor training centre) near Pune. It was a weekend trip with a night stay and many team building, trekking and other outdoor activities were planned.

We were divided into teams and we enjoyed many activities. Now, there was one of the team building activities for which we were taken to a ground where there were lot of obstacles which were placed (like drums or ropes or bars etc). Our Trainer asked the Captains of both the teams to accompany him to a separate corner, while the teams waited. He explained both of them the task and announced - ‘Are you ready? Get set go!!’ and here came our captains rushing towards us.

Both of them explained that the respective team has to cross over from one corner to the diagonally opposite corner, where the other team is, before they could reach our corner. Block their way, deviate them but the rule is that none of the team members’ foot should touch the ground. Either you hang by the rope or walk on the bar but not on the ground. And we had 15 minutes of time. Our respective Captains gave the Shah Rukh Khan’s Chak De style motivating speeches and we made strategies and started our ‘fight’ to block their way and help our team members cross over...

And boy, it was tough. We got mildly injured, our lungs were tired after so much of shouting and we pushed the ‘rivals’ and pulled our team members. As soon as 15 minutes were over, our Trainer blew the whistle and we had to abandon the game. He then called all of us towards him. He sat on a rock while all of us sat on the ground, even though chairs were there at some distance, but all of us were exhausted. Now, came the biggest lesson of my life.

We asked, which team has won and started arguing based on how many members were able to cross over to the other side from each team. We were startled to hear that ‘none of us has won’. We again started arguing and mudslinging the other team members and what not. Then he blew the whistle again and made us go on the ‘pin drop silence mode’. Then he calmly asked both the Captains of what he explained to them about the task in that corner. Both of them stood up and almost synchronously and in complete agreement with each other told that ‘You asked us to cross over our teams from Corner#1 to Corner#2, which are diagonally opposite to each other and vice versa and we have 15 minutes of time and that none of our team member’s foot should touch the ground’.

He then asked one simple question - ‘Did I ever tell you that you have to block the other Captain and his team?’

There was a pin drop silence.

He went on to explain – ‘I just told that Team A has to go to the corner of Team B and Team B has to go to the corner of Team A. Yes, you would have to cross the hurdles making sure that you don’t touch the ground but that’s why those 15 minutes were given. A simple walk across the corners would have taken less than a minute but since each team had 7 members and there were around 5-6 hurdles, it would have taken 15 minutes. You know what you were supposed to do?’

The captains shrugged.

He told - ‘Both of you could have spoken to each other first and decided which team will cross first, Team A or Team B and first the respective Team should have crossed the area and when all the members of that team would have crossed over, the other team could have started their journey. In this case, even the first team could have shared their experiences and knowledge to help the second team to cross the area even faster to make sure that both the teams could finish within 15 minutes. See, what the two of you have done to your teams. While some of them did cross over to the other side but look at them. They are injured. They are accusing each other. They are fighting.’

That’s it. Leaders are not supposed to make strategies only for their team and their team to win. Leaders have the responsibility to take the task to completion making sure that they and their teams synchronise. We are in corporate world. All of us join a company to become a part of the Company’s vision and mission, not to make your own teams who will win certain competition which is not even there. In this journey to fulfil the vision and mission of the Company, surely, people would grow as they gain experience of working. They grow on to become the Leaders. The leaders are supposed to then take the complete team up but not pulling down the other team or the team members. This is what makes a leader respectable. With this attitude within yourself, you will instil the same in your team and definitely influence other teams as well. But if you indulge into ‘my team wins’ - ‘your team loses’ tactic, you will train your team and even other team members to learn this attitude.

My first manager in the previous company (Nagesh Sir) was one such example of good leadership. Of course, he was unreasonable at times but I found him a great leader. Though we were allowed and even expected to call him with his first name but many a times I would find myself calling him Nagesh SIR, out of the sheer respect that I had for him as a leader.

I had seen him pull a chair and sit next to a developer to get into the code to fix something which the developer was not able to fix. I remember that we missed something and were running against the time. To fix that piece, another team had to work on it and they won’t work till all the formal approvals were procured. I was tensed and reached out to Nagesh. Very calmly he got up and walked up to the desk of Tech Team Lead of that other team, explained the problem, impact and the solution and instructed me in front of him that I should straightaway start working on getting all the necessary approvals while that team works on the solution. The TL immediately agreed and the wheel started rolling. I knew what I have to do and he knew what he had to do. Nagesh, meanwhile, went back to his desk. Problem solved.

Team building, corporate relationship building, respecting everyone in the team, helping everyone learn and grow so that one day your junior will take over your role is what a Leader is about.

If a leader has a fear of helping his team for them to grow and take his place some day, he is not a leader. If the leader has a hidden agenda to ‘win’ a non-existent ego competition, he is not a leader. If a leader has a massive ego which does not let him say ‘sorry’ for something wrong he has committed/missed and does not ‘congratulate’ anyone for their good work – own team member or other, he is not a leader. If a leader takes away the entire credit for himself or select few people of his team, he is not a leader.

Leader would stand tall and congratulate anyone who does a smallest or greatest of the good work and hold the hand of a faltering member to help him stand back on his two feet.

This trip to Garunmaachi was almost 10.5 years back but I still can’t forget this lesson. I wish to spread this message to everyone, especially the famous ‘Corporate Think Tanks’ where we complicate our professional lives and then gradually ruin our mental peace because of such misconception about being a Leader or a Manager, as we call them.