Life is Uncertain...

On last Thursday my manager, Dr.Ashok, came back from his hometown after 2 weeks of vacation and we spoke at length about his vacation to my home state Rajasthan, his books, how I can get into professional writing, what I should expect from the new place where I am moving, him gaining 2.4 kg of weight due to awesome food prepared by his mom, his daughter's Bharatnatyam performance and on Friday morning we lost him due to sudden heart attack...

He had a wife and a 10 year old daughter. Now only I came to know more about his family and I can't concentrate anywhere else. Everytime I go to the pantry, I see his empty chair. Unbelievable...

Last month, one of my distant cousins who got married 9 days ago lost his life due to heart attack. Another cousin's wife too lost it to her heart.

I am scared to the core now. Not for my death but what impact it might have on my family, specially my daughter. I am now not feeling any guilt of taking a break from my job because that would mean spending more time with Navyaa. God forbid, if something happens to me the next moment, who will take care of her, will she even remember me once she grows up, how will my family react....???

Everytime something like this happens, we think about it for some time and then forget it and move on but ever since Friday I just can't get over this. Have lost a good man, a good friend of mine.

Lessons learnt: 

1. Spend time with family

2. Don't carry any grudge for long

3. Don't work like a dog in office at the cost of your health - no deadline is that urgent that it should cost you your life

4. Leave office right there once you step out of office. You have another life to live then. Attend to it.

Lot of people love you much more than your boss or client. If you die, it's a big loss to your loved one. Company will immediately replace you after observing a minute of silence...

Dr. Ashok, this post is dedicated to you. May your soul rest in peace and may God give all the strength to your family in this difficult time.

Generation Gap!!!!

Today as I was waiting for my cab along with a fellow cab mate of mine, something strange happened. Normally this type of complaint comes from elderly people about their younger generation but today it was the other way round.

This cab mate of mine (honestly, I always felt something strange about her and just FYI she is of my age or may be younger than me) - let's call her CM - and I were waiting for our cab. Just then one SUV stopped in front of us... just a bit ahead of where we were standing and the Husband and Wife (I hope they were husband and wife) kissed each other, as in Lip Lock.

Just then Madam CM hit her forehead with her palm and exclaimed - "Aiiyyyyoooo!!! Rama Rama..." and something more in Telugu. When I looked towards her with zapped look she explained - "this generation you see, all corrupted. Why do you have to kiss each other? Do that in your bedroom". Just then the Lady from the car got down and crossed the road. Madam CM - " ... and see, she looks much older than us". Then she crossed her hands and touched her ears as if saying sorry to God on their behalf...

When I again looked at her to tell her to just chill, it's normal, she gave me an offended kind of look and explained that if these people are so open, what will our children learn...??!!!

I mean, first, they are husband wife who are kissing EACH OTHER. You are safe. That man has not violated your modesty.

Second of all, they are doing it inside THEIR car.

Third of all, it must be their personal way of saying bye to each other.

Fourth of all, growing old does not mean to stop loving each other (I was pretty glad thinking about their strong love relationship).

So you see, I was pretty amused to see a young(er) girl complaining about so much of openness by her elder generation.... 

Happy 1st Birthday to my Angel...

She is soon gonna be ONE... From past so many days I have no other time pass activity apart from going through all her photographs and videos. The day and the moment - still fresh in my memory when I went into the Operation Theatre and when she was born. The first time doctor put her on my chest. I had the most precious gift of my life - I had a Daughter. 

She has become naughty, she tests my patience but all my tiredness and my tension goes up in the air when she 'talks' strangely - roll her tongue and continuously say - laka laka laka laka... When she sleeps, she is the most innocent looking being on this earth... Its looks like the goal of our lives to make her laugh...

I and Mr. Husband have since then only talked about her, thought about her, fought for her. We know that she is not going to remember anything about her First birthday but we want to make it memorable. We have plans and our closest family members are joining us. 

Many more to come and celebrate. I wish her all the happiness, good health and secure world to live in... I wish Navyaa the Very Happy First Birthday (thats not today btw).

Vidaai

Why do brides and their parents , specially Bride's Father, cry on her Vidaai??!!! 

Personally have got through The Moment and I had my reason - well I was hospitalized for Jaundice few days before my wedding and I felt that I badly screwed up the mood and the event. So, I was kinda sorry for that. 

Having attended 3 weddings in the family in past 2 months and witnessing The Scene recently made me think about it. Why do they cry? 

Parents had always been looking for a suitable match and when they have found one and he is taking their daughter, why cry?? 

Everyone had agreed on the "good" family and the boy, then why cry?? 

It cannot be about the huge hole in the pocket made by wedding arrangements which is hurting them, then why cry?? 

Their daughters have anyways been staying away from them for so many years for studies or job. So why is parting away making them cry now?? 

Its that anxiety which kills them... how will our little princess win over so many expectations which her in-laws will have from her from THIS very moment? How will she handle so many things single handedly when we have always been around her to help her out? Will this family and boy seriously keep her as happy as we had kept her? Will she be allowed to visit us that frequently? It seems like yesterday when she was born and all of a sudden she is going away to a different family... we haven't been able to spend much time together. When will we spend that carefree time again with her? 

My daughter is about to complete just first year of her life and I already feel like killing myself when I have to almost close the door on her face to attend a office call. It is so hard for me already to say Goodbye to her when I have to leave for office. It's the happiest moment of the day when I reach back home and she runs towards me to climb up in my lap. True that I some times have to shout at her but to think about it, she does all that for fun and as part of her learning curiosity and that shows my lack of patience. 

Let's wait and see for myself when my daughter goes away with her future family...

Not a good start :-(

The year 2015 has not kicked off on a very good note. I wished for a peaceful year but half way through its very first month and I had to witness the layoff drama in my company for the very first time in my life. I didnt get the pink slip and i am safe but i have lost 3 of my good friends and one among them being someone i respected a lot as a sincere and hardworking employee. 

What hurts me even more is that he is being portrayed as a Non Performer, the reason why company showed him the door. He actually paid the price of foolish tactics of the company. 

On one hand, they had recruitment drive few months back when all of us wondered the need for so many people. On top of that, they kept on recruiting MANAGERS... 1 manager for every 4 employees??!!!  why dont promote these employees to become manager? why not recruit people who would actually work - managers dont work. They manage and create ppts and invent new rules to be implemented within the team...

with these unacceptable reasons given to hardworking employees to be shown the door, no wonder all of us are living in fear with anger within us. But cant blurt it out since we have families to take care of and we dont want to lose our jobs... What a blackmailing game it is...

The Epic Year of my life - 2014

With just two more days left for this year to come to an end, i can say that this had been the most memorable and wonderful year of my life. Blessed with a Baby Girl - Navyaa. Sleeping and waking according to her, playing with her, running around her, praying for her... Becoming a mother is the biggest blessing of life. Honestly, I had been pretty occupied with her and spent such a less time to know what happened to the world. With whatever I could listen or read, some heartbreaking incidents took place - Malaysian Aircraft going missing. We cannot even imagine the pain and grief of the families of the passengers on board that ill fated flight. Another such incident occured yesterday with the Air Asia flight. I pray that they could atleast find out what happened to that flight. Peshawar attack on innocent school children. Floods in J & K. Something good which happened was Mr. Modi becoming the Prime Minister of India. No idea how quickly he can turn the future of India toward betterment but have got some faith in our PM who speaks up. 

On personal front, apart from having Navyaa in our lives, have got many events lined up - 3 weddings to attend. My nephew turned One. Our nana ji completed 90 years of his life but unfortunately we lost him the same year. Have been super busy managing office and home but with family support, it had been good so far. 

God knows what this coming year has in store. I know it cannot be all happy 'n' merry but pray for less harsh time. Wishing all of you a Very Happy n Prosperous New Year - 2015!!!

Heya... The Life has Changed...

Heya...

It had been over an year that I have not written anything on my blog. Boy, what an eventful year it was...

 

My new status: I am a Mommy now... !!! Blessed with a cute little Baby Girl, whom we have named as Navyaa on 26th Feb, 2014.

 

Life changed since then... Actually it changed much before that, when we came to know that we are expecting the baby. Had never taken care of myself like that, had never eaten such healthy food, so many fruits and so much of coconut water. Enjoyed every bit of royal treatment given to me by family and friends and people at office. As the time to the D-Day drew closer, my anxiety multiplied.

 

When finally admitted to hospital, in no longer than 15 minutes so many procedures started which actually scared me. Almost closed my eyes when I was laid down on the operation bed, coz operation theatre is a scary place to be in. And then, hubby dear arrived and took my hands in his... That was reassuring. I could not believe my ears when I heard the first little cry of my baby. I kept on asking repeatedly if my baby is fine, coz I had not seen her. So many thoughts running around in my head in those few moments, till one of the doctors from the team brought her and put her on my chest... I HADVEACTUALLY GOT A HEALTHY BABY!!!

 

And ever since then I actually realized the importance of my mom's favourite dialog - "jab tum maa banogi tab pata chalega ke humko tumhari itni chinta kyun hoti hai". I realized that almost every single minute; even now, when today she completed 4 months. Every day was and is a new day with her. Is she getting enough milk, why is she so dull today, is she looking weak, why is she not falling to sleep, why is she sleeping so much??? All negative thoughts just to ensure if she is fine...

 

It's so amazing to see the journey of creation of a baby and how he learns so many things on his own. How she learnt where to get her milk from, how to convey that she is wet, how to fall asleep, how to smile, laugh, roll over on her tummy, 'speak' all those funny things; which we of course don't understand... I sometimes call her 'kudrat ka karishma'... Funny it is I know, but that's my reaction when I see her do something new...

 

Now all of a sudden priorities have changed... who cares about the favourite TV shows, forget about watching a movie, look for a clean place to eat where she can also lie down comfortably, 1 am is too early to sleep, do multi tasking, revise all those nursery rhymes and learn the bed time stories...

 

And now is the time to join my office. Only if someone tells me that I have an option to quit my job and stay home... How can I leave her behind and miss so many activities which she will do now? It's already so hard to stay away from her during our practice sessions where I leave her with her grand parents almost throughout the day...

 

But that's what life is about. Have to leave her behind only to come running back to home and play with her... Always pray to God to keep her healthy and active. God bless her...!!!