Will you marry me?

Okay. So there was a writing contest where every month a renowned author would give a passage, using which the contestants have to craft a story. I sent for one of the months. Needless to say, that my story could not make it to the winners list. But then I thought, if not for contest, I still liked my attempt on story writing. I can still put it up on MY BLOG. So, here it is. Enjoy. 

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It was a cold February dawn as I stepped out of the cab and ambled towards the entry gate no 3 at Delhi airport. I was headed to Bangalore to attend a college friend’s wedding. It had been a tumultuous four years since we had got adjusted to our lives after graduation and this was also to be a class re-union of sorts. What I didn't know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter.

For a moment I was hesitant but in the very moment I was sure it was her

Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60-odd seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell.

For next ten seconds so many thoughts raced my mind. Does she still hate me? Will she forgive me? Is she married? Yes? No? Should I talk to her? But who is this old lady holding her hand? And before I could stop myself I heard my own hoarse quivering voice, “Hi, Kavyaa”

She turned around to see who called her out but I think she didn’t notice me. I stepped up to her and repeated, “Hi, Kavyaa. How are you?”

“Umm, I am sorry, I can’t recollect you”

My heart skipped a beat. It has been just 4 years. Yes, we fought on a trivial issue. She wanted to get married a year after college while I wanted 3-4 years of money making and then talk to my parents. Only I know that I didn’t have the courage to walk up to my parents and introduce her to them. But we were girlfriend and boyfriend for 3 long years. And here she is. Not looking into my eyes and asking who am I?

“Its me, Kavvya, Nihit!  Don’t tell me you already forgot me?”

“Nihit!!! Oh My God. How are you? I just didn’t expect to meet you here”, she said with the same energy and love that made me fall for her.

“Nihit. I am Kavyaa’s mom”, the old lady accompanying Kavyaa turned to me and began speaking

“Looks like you two have not been in touch off late. She actually met with a near fatal accident after her college which took away her vision”, said the old lady

The queue moved ahead and so did Kavyaa and her mom but I couldn’t move an inch. I felt like throwing up. Only if I could have mustered some courage to talk to our parents, her life would have been different with me. She wouldn’t have met that accident. Oh, she is still so beautiful and vibrant. I stood there like a rock.

After the security check, I caught up with them at an eating joint.

“I am going to have some coffee. Do you want something Kavyaa?”, asked her mom.

“Coffee for me too”

“And you beta?”

“Nothing aunty. Thanks. I will get the coffee for you”, I said

“No no. You both talk. I will get the coffee”. I also didn’t pursue her further. I wanted to talk to Kavyaa alone.

“I am sorry Kavyaa”

“For what? Nihit, I am alright. Yes, that accident was devastating but thanks to my parents and friends, I have moved on in my life. I work as a counselor at a trauma center. It took me some time to gather all the broken pieces for my life. But I joined a blind school and they restored my confidence and faith in life. Don’t feel sorry about me”

How can she be so positive about life? Has she actually moved on in her life?

“You have no hard feelings for me?”, something which was bothering me the most.

“Of course not, Nihit. The best thing that this accident has taught me is to live your life with no regrets and hatred. Life is too short for all this. I could have died in that accident but I got away with few broken bones and loss of vision”, she said with as-a-matter-of-fact attitude. That put me at ease.

“I hope you are also going for Swami and Richa’s wedding at Bengaluru?!”, I asked

“Yup. I still can’t believe that they are getting married. They always fought and argued. But it would be fun to see them get married in both South and North Indian styles”, excitement flowing through her eyes.

“So, are you married?”

“No. Many boys proposed to me but when they came to know that I can’t see them, they ran away”, she laughed and I only managed to give an awkward smile. 

Shortly, her mom joined us with three cups of coffee. Kavyaa kept on telling her mom about our college time, even dropping obvious hints that we were a couple back then, while I sipped my coffee in complete silence.

We landed at Bengaluru airport after a two and a half hour journey and decided to board a single cab since our destination was same.

The moment we walked in to the venue for the lunch cocktail party, Swami and Richa ran towards us to get into a group huddle. Other gang members shortly joined us to form a bigger huddle. I managed to smile and congratulate the bride and the groom. All of us were looking ultra-suave as compared to our college days. No more once-in-two-months-washed jeans, loose yet cheap shirts, some local pair of shoes with a fake logo of popular brands. Our gang looked bigger with some new additions as spouses or kids.

“Hey guys. Wait wait wait. I have been eagerly waiting to ask you guys. Since mom has never seen Nihit during our college days, how does he look now?”, Kavyaa asked our gang.

“Bulging belly almost about to tear up his shirt. Bald. Have got himself a moustache. Looks like an uncle”, quipped Meera and I instantly looked towards Kavyaa who broke into her patented laughter while others joined in to embarrass me, though I still looked the same as I was during our college days.

While in college Kavyaa always told me: “If you eat all this junk 18 hours a day, you will soon have a fat belly tearing up your shirt, go bald and look like my uncle in next 2-3 years. Stop eating that garbage”

Looking at everybody, I realized that I was the only one who knew nothing about her accident. Kavyaa might have told them not to inform me about it. I decided to be by her side for the rest of the wedding event.

The wedding was organized in a resort which was very much closer to the Bengaluru airport and it was a beautiful place. Open, green, stylish and comfortable at the same time. Bengaluru’s famous weather added to its beauty.

“What do you see in front of you Nihit?”, she suddenly asked me while both of us were relaxing on a bench close to a pond catching me unawares.

“Nothing much”, I replied

“Nothing at all? How is that possible? Look around and tell me what you see. Okay, look around for me please. I am going to feel the beauty of this place through your eyes”

Suddenly, I realized what she meant.

“We are sitting on a white bench which is facing a small pond with crystal clear water. I can see two ducks with 3 baby ducks in that pond. The duck family is enjoying the sunshine. All around us is a carpet of green grass trimmed beautifully, where I can see three, no, five rabbits chasing each other and the grass is outlined with tall trees which shelters lot of birds. Far behind us, two morons are throwing fake smiles at unlimited guests who have gathered here for their wedding. They don’t know even half of those relatives. Sun is playing hide and seek with us, hiding behind the white clouds who have no intention to shower rain. And, I am sitting next to a beautiful girl who wants to keep on talking and at this moment, is patiently listening to my blabbering”. This is when I actually paid attention to the beauty of the resort.

“Thanks Nihit. I can see all this now”, she looked satisfied and took a deep breath to soak into the atmosphere

Then I saw, what she had done.

Apart from getting her ready and plating food for her, which was done by her doting mother, I became her eyes. I almost forgot that I have come here to meet my gang. It was as if I was here to be by her side, to make her laugh, to show her the wedding. Every time she changed her dress, she looked even more beautiful. She still has not lost her sense of dressing up.

“What do you think? Am I looking okay in this saree?”, she asked me while I was lost admiring her beauty

“Okay? You look stunning. Don’t stand closer to Richa, people will mistake you for bride”, I said, and I actually meant that

She was dressed in a stunning red saree for the Sangeet night. Opening performance was by the bride and the groom. More than a dance performance it was a shy bride-shy groom singing some overtly romantic Bollywood song while making some gestures with their hands and excited Uncles and Aunties joining them while throwing away crisp new currency notes into air. We had a good laugh. Still not able to digest that they were getting married.

After that I realized that Kavyaa is not standing next to me anymore. While I started searching for her, Richa’s younger sister, Anu, announced the next performance.

“Put your hands together for the dancing diva of Richa’s gang – Kavyaaaaaa”, and she exited the stage amidst a thunderous applause to hold Kavyaa’s hand and bring her to the centre of the stage.

The music started but I turned deaf. I could not hear anything. I was just staring at her with my mouth wide open. “She can dance as well?”, I thought to myself.

“Of course, she can. She has just lost her vision, not the spirit”, reminded me my inner self.

Next morning, was the wedding in South Indian style. It was very early morning actually. I missed most of it, since I thought sleep and breakfast were more important for me than attending the early morning wedding rituals. It was almost over when I made an entry and our gang was being adjusted by a team of photographers around Swami and Richa for a group photo. After adjusting them tirelessly for fifteen minutes, I silently made some space for myself next to Kavyaa, who immediately knew that it was me.

“Your love for food won over your friends’ wedding. Again, huh?”

“How did you know that it’s me?”, I asked her in surprise.

“Losing sense of vision meant gaining sense of touch and smell”

We then had our traditional South Indian lunch on banana leaves, somehow managing not to spill over the sambhar on our cloths, while she ate everything so neatly.

The evening was reserved for North Indian wedding complete with baraat (the funny procession of the groom), jai mala (the noisiest event of the wedding) and pheras (the most boring part). We danced our hearts out during the baraat on long forgotten Punjabi songs, tossed the bride and groom in air during jai mala. Now was the most boring part of the wedding but I still have not understood, why is this the most important, emotional and exciting part for the girls?

I remember Kavyaa telling me how much she loved the chanting of mantras, swearing in to live with each other for the next seven lives, getting your hands yellowed by your parents, going around the fire. Listening to her only made me sleep. Anyways.

“Are they ready for the seven pheras?”, she asked

“Yes”, I replied while casually looking up from my mobile to check if they were actually standing

“Did I see tears in her eyes? No. What is there for her to cry?”, I thought to myself and got back to my game

As soon as the Pandit ji announced that seven pheras were completed and they are now husband and wife, lot of things happened all of a sudden – thundering applause, showering of flower petals, some sighing with relief (finally, it was over), some making sure that Swami remembers what all Pandit ji said during each of the pheras and Kavyaa springing up from her chair and clapping her hands with all her might, tears rolling down her lovely cheeks

As the tears rolled, I went down on my knees, catching them in my left hand and my right hand holding her hands. Her mom was the first one to notice this and all of a sudden everyone went quiet, I guess my movements were way too fast to bring everyone’s attention to us

“Kavyaa, I am not saying this because I feel pity on you for your accident. I am not saying this because you need a support. I am not saying this because I think you can’t take care of yourself.
I am saying this because I need you. You made me see things around me which were always so beautiful. Only I was too busy to notice them. You gave me a reason to laugh, because I wanted to make you laugh. In the last two days you have shown me what I have missed all these years.

Kavyaa Arora, will you please marry me, support me, make me a better person?”

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Be a part of the change

Before I even start this post I must mention that eventhough I don't live in Delhi as of now but I am a Delhiite. I am neither a fan nor an anti of Delhi government.

Off late I have been getting so many forwaded messages and jokes regarding Odd-Even car rule to be implemented in Delhi from January next year and listening to all the negative remarks from the very citizens of Delhi and other parties opposing and making fun of this rule. Something which really put me off was a statement made by a citizen of Delhi who casually asked the media person - "how will traffic police implement the rule with lakhs of cars on the road? Kaise pakadenge galat car?" My question to him and several others like him - why do you want policemen to ensure this and catch you with the wrong car? Are you quizzing them? Is this rule being implemented for them? Why can't YOU be honest ad implement the rule? YOU are the one who is breathing that toxic air. YOU are the one who is gifting this polluted air to your children and future generation along-with numerous diseases. YOU make a major chunk of the culprits to increase the pollution to such a high level. 

How many governments have you seen in the past who have even given a serious thought or taken any solid steps to curb the pollution? I can't remember any. Planting small saplings during a school function is not what I am talking about. I hated AAP government when they unnecessarily politicised lot of unwanted issues, when they left the people of Delhi in lurch. But I thought about this rule implementation for the entire day yesterday but couldn't think of any political advantage that they are getting out if it. If there is any, call me ignorant. 

For some time, don't think about which government is implementing it, think of the benefits that YOU might get. Don't keep on cribbing for losing some of the comforts by driving your car on alternate days, find out ways to implement it. Go out, know your neighbors, find out if they can drop you to your office or somewhere close by. Talk to other team members who sit across your cubicle. Do the car pooling. Use public transport. Use Metro. 

We have so many amazing people who create hundreds of unrequired yet jazzy apps, put up on Play Store to earn money. Now is the time for them to create something useful to help in car pooling. 

I hope ambulances and other emergency vehicles are exempted from this rule and so wish that this rule includes car of VVIPs and VIPs (though its a waste of hope). Beijing implemented this rule within 2 days of notice. We are getting at least a month. Find out alternates, come out of comfort zones. YOU are going to get a bit more of fresh air. Be a part of this change!!!!

Dear God... ooops... Google

I am there - on almost all social networking sites, including Twitter. So, if someone follows you on Twitter, you are excited and you immediately check their profile. I did the same and found this very interesting picture on his wall.

Google has transformed our lives. You are under stress, you launch Google and type "ways to reduce stress". You need a sample resignation or last day mail, you search Google. You are not recollecting a famous actor's name, start searching randomly about him, you are sure to get the name. Good or bad is a question. Sometimes I think we were better without it. I would rather talk to my mom to reduce the stress than Google it. I would rather use my brain to write something sweet on my friend's birthday greeting card than search on Google for "nice birthday quotes". I would rather talk to my baby's doctor for ways to make her eat properly than google on "ways to handle a picky eater". Tax my brain to remember someone special's birthdays and anniversaries than use Google calendar. 

But now, I can't even think of life without Google or Internet at large. Though I don't have any research as my source to put it here but I am sure that new generation or I should say those who are more exposed to Internet or Google have slower learning power and memory rentention capabilities. Those who are still not much exposed to these mediums remember lot of things and are quick learners and enjoy their lives out in the open, under the sun. 

Oh, and this platform where I am writing all this - Blogger - is from Google too... Jai Google Baba ki!!!!

Incomplete mail...

Yes. This blog is to complete my last day mail at my last organization. Won't name the company but this is for my group: CA group (will call it CA group throughout this post). After spending almost 4 years there I was finding it hard to write a short parting mail. From past few months though, I had not been enjoying my work there for various reasons but my office had become an integral part of my life, my routine. I wrote in my last day mail that I would rather write a blog about it than writing a 2 page Last Day mail. So, here it is:

 

Joined the CA group in August, 2011 right after the Independence Day and there started my journey of endless learning, discussions, tense moments, laughter sessions, team lunches/dinners/outings and what not. I am a much better person and professional now - more confident now. I can't forget the endless discussion sessions with the engineering team, the conflicts, the roadblocks - all of these helped me learn lot of technical aspects as well of the products I was working on.

 

I still remember my first DEMO to the US based audience. Before joining CA group, in my previous company, I had given lot of trainings but the audience was the rural population of India - to be given in pure Hindi. Demo started, my voice was shaky and all of a sudden things started to go wrong. A test call which was expected did not happen. People were running to get that call but it would take time and till then - I put myself on mute. I had nothing to talk about. No backup plan. Next day, my then manager - Nagesh - scolded me and told me to always have a backup plan and be prepared even if that means to write down my speech on a piece of paper. Always have some chit-chat stuff handy - like weather conditions of US, how things go wrong in demo, what technical/functional implications are there etc etc. That day onwards I never go to any training session or demo without preparing myself and checking the systems if they are ready for the demo.

 

The first big launch or Go Live and when we went to the client's place. Reached there by 4:30 PM IST since business starts from 5:00 PM IST. From 4:30 PM till 2:00 AM, we were up on our toes running from one corner to another solving issues being faced by the agents of the client. Following few days were tense since those issues had to be resolved during the day time and on the floor support to client during the night time. But it was so satisfying when our group was hugely applauded for the launch.

 

The planning for the outings/lunches/dinners, last day of some colleague, speeches, samosa-sweets for any trivial to big occasion, the gossip sessions, leg pulling, story grooming sessions, fights between Dev and QA teams, taking a tough stand, finding new odd nicknames of any interesting character, eagerly waiting for free cake on every Friday - Thanks to Pooja, poking nose in discussions about a mobile game (which I have never played) which my friends were part of (some clan - Hot thing)...

It was when I had put down my papers and slowly people coming to know about it that I realized that I had made so many friends there who were kind of shocked to know that I am quitting. Now that I am almost settled in the new place, I am missing my office going routine. Though, as a complimentary gift, I am getting to spend more time with my daughter and hope to spend more time for blogging.

Every journey has some happy and some sad moments. Same was the case with CA group. As the team grew and the management changed, the fun factor was fading away. Earlier to that, I was always engaged in the planning of any outing but then, the interest went away.
Had to witness a Pink Slip drive where I lost at least 3 people I so closely knew. That was a heart breaking day. And another saddest moment - when we suddenly lost our manager - (late) Dr. Ashok Kallarakkal. It was so hard to believe; more so since just a day prior to his untimely death, we had talked at length about so many things. Till now, there has been no day when I have not thought about him - a gentle soul - May he rest in peace. But life moves on.

Jhaheman, singprac, chandrsa, kamathan, gandhike, repaka.... hahaha, these are not the names but the network IDs of my friends. That's how we used to call each other. I got a name there - Strict Teacher. No idea why this name was given to me by one of the team members (probably because I came across as a No-Nonsense person during story grooming sessions) but you getting a nickname means that you have made some influence over few of the people.

Oh, I am missing my office; my gang... May they be successful and no more Pink Slip drives.  

Life is Uncertain...

On last Thursday my manager, Dr.Ashok, came back from his hometown after 2 weeks of vacation and we spoke at length about his vacation to my home state Rajasthan, his books, how I can get into professional writing, what I should expect from the new place where I am moving, him gaining 2.4 kg of weight due to awesome food prepared by his mom, his daughter's Bharatnatyam performance and on Friday morning we lost him due to sudden heart attack...

He had a wife and a 10 year old daughter. Now only I came to know more about his family and I can't concentrate anywhere else. Everytime I go to the pantry, I see his empty chair. Unbelievable...

Last month, one of my distant cousins who got married 9 days ago lost his life due to heart attack. Another cousin's wife too lost it to her heart.

I am scared to the core now. Not for my death but what impact it might have on my family, specially my daughter. I am now not feeling any guilt of taking a break from my job because that would mean spending more time with Navyaa. God forbid, if something happens to me the next moment, who will take care of her, will she even remember me once she grows up, how will my family react....???

Everytime something like this happens, we think about it for some time and then forget it and move on but ever since Friday I just can't get over this. Have lost a good man, a good friend of mine.

Lessons learnt: 

1. Spend time with family

2. Don't carry any grudge for long

3. Don't work like a dog in office at the cost of your health - no deadline is that urgent that it should cost you your life

4. Leave office right there once you step out of office. You have another life to live then. Attend to it.

Lot of people love you much more than your boss or client. If you die, it's a big loss to your loved one. Company will immediately replace you after observing a minute of silence...

Dr. Ashok, this post is dedicated to you. May your soul rest in peace and may God give all the strength to your family in this difficult time.

Generation Gap!!!!

Today as I was waiting for my cab along with a fellow cab mate of mine, something strange happened. Normally this type of complaint comes from elderly people about their younger generation but today it was the other way round.

This cab mate of mine (honestly, I always felt something strange about her and just FYI she is of my age or may be younger than me) - let's call her CM - and I were waiting for our cab. Just then one SUV stopped in front of us... just a bit ahead of where we were standing and the Husband and Wife (I hope they were husband and wife) kissed each other, as in Lip Lock.

Just then Madam CM hit her forehead with her palm and exclaimed - "Aiiyyyyoooo!!! Rama Rama..." and something more in Telugu. When I looked towards her with zapped look she explained - "this generation you see, all corrupted. Why do you have to kiss each other? Do that in your bedroom". Just then the Lady from the car got down and crossed the road. Madam CM - " ... and see, she looks much older than us". Then she crossed her hands and touched her ears as if saying sorry to God on their behalf...

When I again looked at her to tell her to just chill, it's normal, she gave me an offended kind of look and explained that if these people are so open, what will our children learn...??!!!

I mean, first, they are husband wife who are kissing EACH OTHER. You are safe. That man has not violated your modesty.

Second of all, they are doing it inside THEIR car.

Third of all, it must be their personal way of saying bye to each other.

Fourth of all, growing old does not mean to stop loving each other (I was pretty glad thinking about their strong love relationship).

So you see, I was pretty amused to see a young(er) girl complaining about so much of openness by her elder generation.... 

Happy 1st Birthday to my Angel...

She is soon gonna be ONE... From past so many days I have no other time pass activity apart from going through all her photographs and videos. The day and the moment - still fresh in my memory when I went into the Operation Theatre and when she was born. The first time doctor put her on my chest. I had the most precious gift of my life - I had a Daughter. 

She has become naughty, she tests my patience but all my tiredness and my tension goes up in the air when she 'talks' strangely - roll her tongue and continuously say - laka laka laka laka... When she sleeps, she is the most innocent looking being on this earth... Its looks like the goal of our lives to make her laugh...

I and Mr. Husband have since then only talked about her, thought about her, fought for her. We know that she is not going to remember anything about her First birthday but we want to make it memorable. We have plans and our closest family members are joining us. 

Many more to come and celebrate. I wish her all the happiness, good health and secure world to live in... I wish Navyaa the Very Happy First Birthday (thats not today btw).