How's the Josh!!!!

How’s the JOSH!!!

High, too high. May be first time in 5-6 years (after our daughter was born), I and Mr. Husband went to watch a movie in theatre sans our daughter. But don’t get too excited. It was no romantic one, rather a hard core patriotic one. But I have no regrets about it.

We went to watch Uri - The Surgical Strike, based on the surgical strike carried out by our Indian Army with a nod from India’s Prime Minister in September 2016. I think only 2 things can make me cry watching a movie – Child missing his/her parents OR losing an army man. Sadly for me, I have seen my cousin brother who was a Major in the Indian Army, losing his life while fighting with the terrorists in an ambush attack. Shaheed Major Alok Mathur is still amar for all of us but time and again, we can’t help but think for what happened that day, how was his contingent blocked, how did he fight with all those terrorist even after being hit with bullets, what went on in his mind at that time? For his parents, family and friends, even though all of us are proud of him, our hearts still ask just one question - ‘why did he not save himself?’ We all know the answer as well. He was a fighter. An Indian Army personnel for whom his Country takes the highest importance followed by his Countrymen and finally the family and friends.

Watched Uri and felt that the personal problems that we all go through everyday and what we crib about are nothing for our Armed Forces.

About the movie. We loved it. The first half set a good background for why India decided to give a solid response to Pakistan. It was an emotional journey. You see the valour of the Indian Army and you see their emotional sides too. They don’t think twice before jumping in front of the enemy’s bullets yet they yearn for the love of their mothers. They are those fighters who do not enjoy sitting in AC offices.

Vicky Kaushal fits the role and is outstanding. Though, he had done some good work in the past but people sat up and took notice of him since Raazi. And he does not disappoint the audience even now. Vicky Kaushal as Major Vihaan Shergill is impressive. The one who does not fail in his planning, the one who promises to bring back every single man of his team back after finishing off the strike, the one who is sharp to notice the grenades tied to the gate they are about to open.

Yami Gautam does her bit. I won’t say too impressive. May be it was only me, but who wear heels while being on an army mission – boarding an army copter while going for interrogation for a terrorist attack? I may not be too aware. Anyway.

Paresh Rawal as Ajit Doval is amazing. Honestly, for a person like me, who is weak in Country’s political and bureaucratic affairs, I had no knowledge about Mr. Ajit Doval. It was when Mr. Husband told that Paresh Rawal looked every bit similar to ‘Ajit Doval’ that I Googled about him and was amazed to read about him. Then, I could appreciate Paresh Rawal even more. He played the role fantastically, also adding his ‘personal touch’ to the character. The subtle humour, of breaking his mobile phones every time he was upset and pulling the intern for why he made his boss run with the Garud if it could take off from hover.

So good to see Swaroop Sampath after such a long time. Though, not shown in the pink of health, she looks her character. All other actors provided a solid support to the film. Mohit Raina (Major Karan Kashyap), Manasi Parekh (Neha), Kirti Kulhari (Seerat Kaur), Shishir Sharma (Gen Arjun Singh Rajawat). Though, I missed catching the name of another actor, but he played the role of Captain Sartaj. Good work.

The direction and screenplay was crisp and too the point. VFX and sound effect just right. You could hear each of the bullet shells falling off. The second half was meant for the planning and execution and that’s what it showed too. The moment the mission was over, the film ended, with few glimpses to make us feel relieved and happy that the team got its due. Be it, Vihaan’s mother momentarily forgetting him but immediately calling out his name and the entire team having dinner after the strike as promised by Mr. Prime Minister. Songs does not stop the film. They give pace to the story.

Though, it is a one-sided story from India’s perspective, as was the case with the actual strike, the neighbouring Country had nothing to defend about. Yes, people call it a propaganda by the current government and I don’t believe in that but even if that was the case, I see no harm in that. Surgical Strike was one of the boldest actions taken by any government of India and it was a success, bringing down the terrorist activities in the Country and everyone should be proud about it.

Director and Writer Aditya Dhar should take a bow along with the entire team and we get our new slang - ‘How’s the Josh?’ High Sir...

Oh, Poor us!!!

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mei khayal aata hai (Sometimes, a thought arises in my heart – literal meaning): aren’t some people made exceptionally rich and some people are exceptionally poor and then there is a middle layer of people who think that they are rich, they try to imitate rich people but little do they realise that they are actually poor.

From the past couple of months, almost all the social media platforms are filled with photographs and videos and news of Uber Rich people marrying even more Uber X Rich people (Uber and Uber X is same as Large and Extra Large). I take a look at a very graceful bride wearing the best of their wedding dresses created by Celebrity Designers and then I look at my pic as a Bride. Till so many years, I was so proud of looking so beautiful in a ‘very expensive’ lehenga (don’t you dare ask me its price) and then I see Priyanka Chopra wearing a Ralph Lauren wedding gown with 75 meters of trail which was being handled by at least 4-5 people.

I remember being fed tomato by my husband when our photographer asked for a customary pose of Bride and Groom feeding each other. Tomato because I was suffering from Jaundice. And then I look at the 6 tier Palatial Cake being cut with a sword by Nick and Priyanka. I now hate Tomatoes and probably 2 tier cakes as well, coz I still calculate the price difference between a single tier birthday cake and the 2 tier cake for my daughter’s birthday and then I always decide for a single tier one. You see, its easier to cut and manage. Money does not matter to me, I swear.

After so many ‘secretively’ conducted ceremonies of these Rich people, when the list of events came out, the immediate thought which crossed my mind was this: My wedding, total 3 major events and I almost died of getting ready, forget about giving a smiling pose to the ever intruding photographers and here they are. Changing into extravagant designer heavy costumes for 7-8 MAJOR events and yet giving that perfect ‘dream’ smile and gracious shy smile (which, btw, looked very very very fake – the ‘shy smile’ part). My brother got married with a high fever. I got married just after getting discharged from the hospital for a severe jaundice. My cousin injured his toe just before reaching his hometown for his wedding. Not that I want people to be injured or sick but how can they look so fresh and vibrant all throughout those shows, errrr, wedding ceremonies I meant?

Shows – that reminds me. It was so difficult to know if those videos were from some wedding Sangeet night or IIFA or Filmfare awards night. For one of my cousin’s wedding, my mom and other cousins somehow put together a dance on a certain song and they were very excited. When I called my mom and asked how was their ‘performance’, she cursed another poor cousin of ours coz he played the ‘remixed and faster’ version of that song and all the participants were dancing together but in different directions and on different lines.

Such accidents happen in our weddings and such accidents must happen in the weddings otherwise what will people remember those weddings for? So, all these high profile weddings of Uber X class of Indians made me think if any such stupid accident happened there. Was there any bhua/fufaji (aunt/uncle) there who cribbed just about everything? Was there any last minute shortage of Gulab Jamuns or everything was well stocked? Do these Uber X families gossip about who was wearing what and how everyone was looking after the wedding ceremonies are over or they just go back to their businesses? Did anyone shout on the hotel staff for not serving morning tea on time? Was there any immediate uncle who was in-charge of the cooking staff so that they don’t do any kind of scam by bringing 50 Kgs of potatoes but sneaking away 5 Kgs to their homes?

But yes, one and only one event made me feel really connected to one of the Uber X  rich families – the Sangeet night of The Ambanis. The Ambani men were dancing right from their hearts. The Celebrity Choreograhper might have spent numerous hours and billed crores of rupees yet the men danced with their 2 left feet – to hell with the rhythm and to hell with the World. That’s a father’s love for a daughter and brothers’ love for their sister who is getting married. And then entered the groom (Priyanka Chopra got him on the stage for Desi Girl) and I thanked God that the family got just the right man. He gelled so well with the men of the Ambani clan. Had the same 2 left feet!! I wondered if any of their multi million dollars business deals got cancelled after the stakeholders saw these men dancing like that but who cares. There were other paid celebrities who were dancing and putting up a nice IIFA show there.

Yes, one noble act that the Ambanis did was to feed around 5100 needy people. That was really commendable. But I still do not understand the need of a 3,00,000/- worth of a wedding card (from the news sources). I saw a demo online and had 2 basic questions (typical lower middle class mentality of mine) –

1. That aarti which plays on opening the card run on batteries? So, if the battery is drained out, the recipients have to put on the new batteries?

2. I am sure they might have invited many foreigner friends, the most prominent one being Ms. Hillary Clinton. Did they FedEx those big Invitation Cards to them or they personally visited them in their private Jets?

I have only 3 wedding cards left from my wedding and I diligently take them out from my bookshelf and blow away the dirt almost every 2/3 months. Had my father made a 3,00,000/- wedding invitation card for me, I might have booked a few bank lockers for them and carried them with me in every wedding within the family or friends circle - It would have worked as an expensive jewellery/accessory. I think I should check with my parents (without getting slapped in slow motion 3 times in the Ekta Kapoor serial style) if my entire jewellery which they gifted me was worth 3,00,000/- or not. If not, then I would really be heart broken (after 9 years of my wedding). If yes, then also I would want to get a little drunk and console myself.

Just now read the title of one of the news items (didn’t bother to open the article though) – “The real reason why Deepika-Ranveer has delayed their honeymoon”.

I mean, I already figured that out man!! They had a pooja ceremony, Sangeet night, Wedding – Style 1, Wedding – Style 2, Reception – Bengaluru, Reception – Mumbai1, Reception – Mumbai2, Reception – Mumbai3 (an after wedding party thrown by Ranveer’s sister), then they had Ambani Sangeet in Udaipur, Ambani Wedding – Mumbai, Ambani – Reception (not sure if they were invited to Priyanka-Nick Reception – Delhi, Priyanka – Nick Reception – Mumbai or not). Where is the time and need for the honeymoon guys??!!!

Oh, Nick-Priyanka (Nickyanka) reminds me, poor Nick (not literal poor but awwww, poor) might not have realised of how expensive his wedding and wife would turn out to be. I am more worried about them specially. Not that I want that to happen but you see, separations are very common and frequent in the West. So much spent on wedding, I honestly wish that they stay together for at least 25 years. Oh, do you think he knows that he is not the Jiju of only Parineeti Chopra? He is India’s ‘THE NICK JIJU’!!!

Anyway. I know people ‘dream’ about their weddings ever since they know the spelling of the word and would do everything within their capacities to bring the experience as close to their dream as possible but how I hoped that they could have married in a little lesser extravagant fashion so that we majority of middle class Indians would not have felt bad for our weddings...

The famous EGO GAME

From past few weeks and months I have being witnessing a very weird scene but something which is not at all uncommon in organisations – Unhealthy and unnecessary Competition between Leaders. Not that I am seeing or hearing about this for the first time but every time I see this happening, I just can’t help but travel back in time and remember one of the most powerful Team Building activities that I have ever been a part of.

It was in May or June of 2008 when I had just joined 3i Infotech Limited, my first job. We were a batch of good 100+ MBA graduates who had joined the company and our induction was in Mumbai. We were made to go through many sessions to induct us in the Company and train us to work in a corporate environment. At the tail end of this induction month, we were taken to Garudmaachi (an outdoor training centre) near Pune. It was a weekend trip with a night stay and many team building, trekking and other outdoor activities were planned.

We were divided into teams and we enjoyed many activities. Now, there was one of the team building activities for which we were taken to a ground where there were lot of obstacles which were placed (like drums or ropes or bars etc). Our Trainer asked the Captains of both the teams to accompany him to a separate corner, while the teams waited. He explained both of them the task and announced - ‘Are you ready? Get set go!!’ and here came our captains rushing towards us.

Both of them explained that the respective team has to cross over from one corner to the diagonally opposite corner, where the other team is, before they could reach our corner. Block their way, deviate them but the rule is that none of the team members’ foot should touch the ground. Either you hang by the rope or walk on the bar but not on the ground. And we had 15 minutes of time. Our respective Captains gave the Shah Rukh Khan’s Chak De style motivating speeches and we made strategies and started our ‘fight’ to block their way and help our team members cross over...

And boy, it was tough. We got mildly injured, our lungs were tired after so much of shouting and we pushed the ‘rivals’ and pulled our team members. As soon as 15 minutes were over, our Trainer blew the whistle and we had to abandon the game. He then called all of us towards him. He sat on a rock while all of us sat on the ground, even though chairs were there at some distance, but all of us were exhausted. Now, came the biggest lesson of my life.

We asked, which team has won and started arguing based on how many members were able to cross over to the other side from each team. We were startled to hear that ‘none of us has won’. We again started arguing and mudslinging the other team members and what not. Then he blew the whistle again and made us go on the ‘pin drop silence mode’. Then he calmly asked both the Captains of what he explained to them about the task in that corner. Both of them stood up and almost synchronously and in complete agreement with each other told that ‘You asked us to cross over our teams from Corner#1 to Corner#2, which are diagonally opposite to each other and vice versa and we have 15 minutes of time and that none of our team member’s foot should touch the ground’.

He then asked one simple question - ‘Did I ever tell you that you have to block the other Captain and his team?’

There was a pin drop silence.

He went on to explain – ‘I just told that Team A has to go to the corner of Team B and Team B has to go to the corner of Team A. Yes, you would have to cross the hurdles making sure that you don’t touch the ground but that’s why those 15 minutes were given. A simple walk across the corners would have taken less than a minute but since each team had 7 members and there were around 5-6 hurdles, it would have taken 15 minutes. You know what you were supposed to do?’

The captains shrugged.

He told - ‘Both of you could have spoken to each other first and decided which team will cross first, Team A or Team B and first the respective Team should have crossed the area and when all the members of that team would have crossed over, the other team could have started their journey. In this case, even the first team could have shared their experiences and knowledge to help the second team to cross the area even faster to make sure that both the teams could finish within 15 minutes. See, what the two of you have done to your teams. While some of them did cross over to the other side but look at them. They are injured. They are accusing each other. They are fighting.’

That’s it. Leaders are not supposed to make strategies only for their team and their team to win. Leaders have the responsibility to take the task to completion making sure that they and their teams synchronise. We are in corporate world. All of us join a company to become a part of the Company’s vision and mission, not to make your own teams who will win certain competition which is not even there. In this journey to fulfil the vision and mission of the Company, surely, people would grow as they gain experience of working. They grow on to become the Leaders. The leaders are supposed to then take the complete team up but not pulling down the other team or the team members. This is what makes a leader respectable. With this attitude within yourself, you will instil the same in your team and definitely influence other teams as well. But if you indulge into ‘my team wins’ - ‘your team loses’ tactic, you will train your team and even other team members to learn this attitude.

My first manager in the previous company (Nagesh Sir) was one such example of good leadership. Of course, he was unreasonable at times but I found him a great leader. Though we were allowed and even expected to call him with his first name but many a times I would find myself calling him Nagesh SIR, out of the sheer respect that I had for him as a leader.

I had seen him pull a chair and sit next to a developer to get into the code to fix something which the developer was not able to fix. I remember that we missed something and were running against the time. To fix that piece, another team had to work on it and they won’t work till all the formal approvals were procured. I was tensed and reached out to Nagesh. Very calmly he got up and walked up to the desk of Tech Team Lead of that other team, explained the problem, impact and the solution and instructed me in front of him that I should straightaway start working on getting all the necessary approvals while that team works on the solution. The TL immediately agreed and the wheel started rolling. I knew what I have to do and he knew what he had to do. Nagesh, meanwhile, went back to his desk. Problem solved.

Team building, corporate relationship building, respecting everyone in the team, helping everyone learn and grow so that one day your junior will take over your role is what a Leader is about.

If a leader has a fear of helping his team for them to grow and take his place some day, he is not a leader. If the leader has a hidden agenda to ‘win’ a non-existent ego competition, he is not a leader. If a leader has a massive ego which does not let him say ‘sorry’ for something wrong he has committed/missed and does not ‘congratulate’ anyone for their good work – own team member or other, he is not a leader. If a leader takes away the entire credit for himself or select few people of his team, he is not a leader.

Leader would stand tall and congratulate anyone who does a smallest or greatest of the good work and hold the hand of a faltering member to help him stand back on his two feet.

This trip to Garunmaachi was almost 10.5 years back but I still can’t forget this lesson. I wish to spread this message to everyone, especially the famous ‘Corporate Think Tanks’ where we complicate our professional lives and then gradually ruin our mental peace because of such misconception about being a Leader or a Manager, as we call them.

Movie Review: Padmaavat

A 2.5 years movie drought was finally broken with the much awaited and one of the most controversial movies of recent times - Padmaavat. First of all, when I say movie drought, I mean, I had gone to watch a movie on the big screen after roughly 2.5 years. In 4.5 years, 2 movies.

I was pleasantly surprised when last Friday Mr. Husband proposed the idea to go for this movie and I made sure that he pre-book the tickets by constantly reminding him...errrr... actually nagging him. But who cares. I finally forced him to book the tickets.

This movie had been in the controversy right from the time SLB started its shooting. He was attacked by a community who somehow knew that he is demeaning their community with his movie. How did they know it when the movie was not even shot? Never mind about it… The movie is ready for release with the name Padmavati and one of its songs has already become a chart buster, maximum number of watches on YouTube within few hours of launch and the community declares war. Buses are torched, people are attacked, open threats are given to the leading lady and what not. Finally, the movie is banned in a couple of states even after the Supreme Court ruling. 

I did not really understand the core reason for the outrage. One thing which I heard or so I understood was that this movie demean the community. If that at all was the reason, after watching the movie, I think this is one of those movies which instead glorified that community for their courage, valor and the values which they stand by even when they face death.

Anyway. Since I don't know the exact reason for all this, I should rather not comment on it. So. Back to the movie review.

Large Scale. Beautiful Costumes. Melodious music after many years (except Khalibali). Fantastic acting by Ranveer Singh. A feast for eyes - Beautifully choreographed Ghoomar song. 

For a movie and sleep deprived mom of a toddler, stepping into the movie theatre itself was a feast. I think I might have even loved Humshakals movie in the given circumstances. Btw, this does not mean that I will ever watch that terrible movie but I was just trying to give you an idea about my happiness. Since past many weeks, I, my daughter and Mr. Husband had been a fan of Ghoomar song and my daughter's first ever stage performance (during a wedding) was also on this very song. So. It was special and I must say that when the song finally happened on the screen, I was not at all disappointed and I got a "paisa wasool" kind of feeling just by watching that song and my daughter watched it with her mouth open. After the song, for her, the movie had finished and we should go back home, unless there were pop corns to eat.

Shahid Kapoor - I think he was looking suitable for the role till he was romancing Deepika and have not encountered Ranveer Singh and had not delivered the heavy weight "wo Rajput" dialogues. Lot of times I felt that the poor guy had to stretch himself more than his height to (a) match up with Deepika's height and (b) to carry those heavy costumes, especially the final fight scene [for a war, that was definitely not a very convenient costume]. Replace him with Hrithik would have justified the role but then he would have over shadowed Ranveer Singh, which definitely did not look like SLB's intention. So, with that, I think he looked good in few places but really unconvincing that he could actually have guts to marry two ladies and run a Kingdom!!!

Deepika Padukone - Did anyone notice, she did not have many dialogues? I will say it again. Though major adulation should be for the choreographer of the Ghoomar song but she did show a great screen presence. Something which I didn't understand. She belonged to Singhal (somewhere in Sri Lanka). Married a Rajasthani Rajput and within only few days learnt Ghoomar, the Rajasthani language, Rajputs' aan-baan-aur-shaan nuances and even knew what a Jouhar is... I have been married for 8 years now and on many occasions I still feel that probably I have not understood my family and the rituals. But, probably she was madly and deeply in LOVE with her King.

Whatever high pitched dialogues she had, I must say, made me laugh. Nice costumes. She looked good. Loved her and wanted to stop her when she was running into the fire but then I thought, why stop. She is looking good as she is not talking. Let her go. 

Poor 1st wife of Shahid Kapoor. She did not even get a single scene with her husband. I am no one to comment on that culture during those days - marry many times as and when you either fall in love with a random girl or you have "won" the girl - but I would kill my husband if he marries another girl while I am still his wife and alive. How can a husband simply wash out from his mind that he is married and has a wife back home? Anyway. I can understand the frustration of the 1st wife - not even one shot with her on-screen husband, forget about any romantic scenes.

Ranveer Singh - The Star of the movie. Barbaric. Someone to be hated immensely. Dark. Can't think of anyone else to replace him. Many people don't like him but I think as an actor, he is a "chupa rustom"... He played a typical Delhi awaara boy in his debut film and played a suave rich spoilt boy in Dil Dhadakne Do. And now, a barbaric, throne hungry fighter. I like him. The most convincing actor in this movie. 

Overall, the climax scene was a bit stretched but since it was the highlight of the movie, can't blame it. Beautifully shot. Even though I knew what is going to happen but still pushed me on the edge of my seat to actually see how it will be shown. If it was a true event in the History, just to think about it gives goosebumps on my hands. 

Another thing which I didn't agree with - the time. The enemy is at your door step and you calmly decides to celebrate Diwali. He is still at your door step and you also celebrate Holi - these two festivals are at least 5-6 months apart. No other King or guest visited you in these 6 months? Neither did you go out to ask for help after your fellow Kings refused your message sent with your messenger just once? Again. The next time, enemy comes back at your door step and then you decide to do some Pooja and goat sacrifice. When you had already invited your enemy to come and fight with you whenever he is ready, why did you not do any special planning with some heavy duty arsenals? You had time in your hand. 

Finally, you come down on the war field. You have your army with you. You knew that your enemy does not follow any rules or ethics and your wife and kingdom are at stake and yet you go ALONE to fight him? When Shahid Kapoor is shot with arrows, why did his army also not kill his enemy with arrows? He was unarmed and not facing them... Oh, the "war ethics"... 

I would say, a one-time watch on the big screen only to enjoy the larger than life scale of the movie, beautiful costumes, Ghoomar song, Ranveer Singh and the finale scene for Jouhar. On lot of other parameters, did not quite match the expectations. But as I said, being a movie and sleep deprived mom, this movie was like a treat....

I wish....

No, I am not turning into an atheist. I still believe in God and am still a God-fearing person. But I have lost any interest in wishing people on various religious or national festivals. It has two major reasons –

    (a)    These days on any religious or national festival, people simply forward you a good wish. There is no personal touch and it looks so mechanical. Wake up in the morning, you already have wishes in the form of forwarded text messages or images, choose the one you like and forward them to others on your contact list.

   (b)   We are all pretending to wish for a beautiful world and a good year. We are not actually doing anything about it. We, on the contrary, are ruining the world around us. So, what’s the point of wishing someone a Happy New Year when you yourself are going to turn around and throw a piece of garbage on the road in the very next moment? Are you contributing to making the upcoming year as Happy by turning your locality, your city, your country into a garbage pile?

I remember my childhood days when a week before Diwali, people would start visiting us with sweets and gifts and my mother made sure to prepare some homemade delicacies for us and for the guests who were expected to visit us. We, as kids, would make fun of our parents for the fact that one guest leaves and before we could refill, another guest would arrive but to think about it, we were meeting people and not just merely forwarding wishes on our smartphones or Facebook pages. Some of those guests were regulars every year and would always compliment my mother for her ‘special’ festival delicacies. She still tries to prepare them but just for the sake of it, for she knows that no one is going to come to taste them and compliment her.

I have stopped sending good wishes to people now. I call up limited few people with whom I really want to talk and wish them happiness. I don’t wish people on various WhatsApp groups that I am a part of. Why? Because everyone is just pouring their wishes with the images and forwarded text. Even if someone is typing them on their own, does anyone on the group even spare a minute admiring that message? The phone just keeps on pinging with message alerts.

Secondly, am not happy from within. No, my husband is all good, my in-laws are caring, my daughter throws tantrums as any other 3.5 year old would. But am not happy with what is happening around all of us. Kids, ladies, men are being raped, beaten up and murdered mercilessly for any trivial issue, roads are bad coz the governing bodies have had their share of bribe from the hard earned money of the people of this nation and they are least bothered about correcting the infrastructure, law and order, politicians are busy in mudslinging on the opposition parties. We don’t feel safe anywhere. We are a bunch of scared parents who can’t sleep through the nights just thinking about what to do to make sure that our kids remain safe. They are not physically, emotionally and sexually violated.

A few weeks back I heard over a radio channel that as per official numbers, 52% kids in India are sexually abused. Out of which 48% are boys. The rest of my journey to the office was not very pleasant. 52% means that every second child that you see around you is sexually abused. The offenders are not booked. Even if caught, the punishment is so trivial that it hardly makes any difference to them. We just take out candle march rallies and sign some online petitions but is it making any difference? No.

So many CCTV footages are floating on the social media where someone beats up and kills someone mercilessly in broad daylight among so many people. But no one does anything.

I know there are people who live happily and professes the philosophy of finding something good in everything. Sorry to say, but they are turning their eyes off from the reality. A 2-year-old boy or girl raped by some pervert – I fail to see anything positive in that. A girl murdered by a man in broad daylight just because she refused to marry him – I again can’t see anything positive in that. A business tycoon who fooled so many banks and left them high and dry of money and fled the country leaving thousands of his employees jobless overnight, while he still enjoys all of his luxuries in another country – I don’t find it amusing. Lakhs of fake self-styled Godmen and Godwomen fooling around lakhs of people to rob them of their properties and modesties – this doesn’t please me either. Thousands of builders gulp in the hard earned money of people and do not give them their dream home even after several years, while those helpless people keep on paying EMIs to the banks – I see positive side only for their fraud builder.

How often do we see a Happy news making it to the front page of the newspaper? The TV, newspapers, online news channels – every one of them are loaded with sad and cringe-worthy news. Why can’t they see something positive and show it to the public? We are sick and tired of listening to the same old fights, plotting and scheming type of news.

And yet, we simply wish each other a Happy Dussehra – the festival of celebrating the triumph of good over evil with the fanciest of the images. I wonder, what’s the point? All of us are evil within ourselves. I fight with people around me for any trivial thing. I still have that alter ego which forces me to hurt someone emotionally. There are so many people around me who would not budge for even a moment in hurting someone beyond imagination.

Ever since the Diwali night, the Facebook page is covered with people posting their photos of themselves dressed in the best of clothes, colorful rangolis made by them, having a good time with their families. Among all of those posts, only 1 person seems to be making sense of the festivities. He spent his festival days along with his families visiting not-so-lucky people in shelter homes and spending time with them and sharing food and sweets with them. I felt ashamed of myself but proud of him.

So, my dear fellas. Don’t just wish someone good. Do something good. Be good. I have started my revolution for myself. In a small way but I am bringing about changes in myself. I was and will always be God-fearing but I am trying to kill that dark side of my personality which forces me to be evil with few of the people.

With folded hands, I say Sorry for not wishing you on those important festivals and not even responding to your wishes. I sincerely wish for a better world every day and not only on those special days.

Technology Virus...

While driving to the office today, I heard the RJ of the FM channel enthusiastically promoting a Smart Watch which can use your gestures and do lot of work – turn on or turn off the music, switch off or switch on lights, fans, TV etc and that the listeners must check this watch out and buy.

I ask WHY?

We anyways have already become so lazy thanks to so many gadgets around us in the name of Technology Revolution. Now get a watch and keep on sitting on your couches and make gestures. How many new diseases and disorders have been introduced over the past few years just because we don’t get enough sun light, we don’t move more often, we keep on sitting in our chairs for long hours, we watch iPads and Laptops continuously.

WhatsApp – Almost like Oxygen for us. Think about the pros – you stay connected to everyone, share photos, videos instantly, have a video call.

Think about the cons – I btw, realized them just now.

You get a forwarded message created by God knows who. You read it, laugh at it or cringe on the ‘severity’ or ‘gravity’ of seriousness of the message, long press the message and forward it to others. How many times do we check if the message is true? We spread rumors, fear and wrong information.

What about the spoken and written English skills? Gone down the drain. Just notice next time you speak to someone in English. Most of us now use slangs and Hinglish. Why? Because, most of the time we are forwarding the messages. 

In the name of ‘staying connected’, we ‘talk’ throughout WhatsApp and at that time who cares about the grammar? I am sure this post also have lot of grammatical errors.

Do these messages convey the correct emotions at all? When I don’t want to speak something directly, simple – just send it as a message. Let the other person read it and comprehend the emotion and reply back. Then we can tackle the further conversation accordingly. Now, I have realized that change in myself. Most of the time I end up saying things differently from what I actually meant them and is most of the time mistaken in wrong way and then I fret why the other person never gets my point. It’s because I wanted to say something with a different emotion and since I am practically out of touch of etiquettes of ‘talking’, I end up saying it in a completely different tone.

My father worked in a bank for the longest part of his career. I remember him talking about his clients. Regular clients. They would exchange greetings on festivals. Now, I don’t know any of my bank people. For the sake of it, I have designated Relationship managers for each of my bank accounts but they call me up once in a year – which I think is a part of their annual process. I do get automated festival greetings from my bank but I can’t respond back to them. I don’t know them and haven’t seen them ever.

Why walk down to our grocery store when you can order things online or get them home delivered by calling them up? I remember seeing one of our grocery store man getting married, giving sweets to us on the birth of his son and seeing him growing up before moving out of my home for my post-graduation.

Birthdays don’t excite me anymore. Not that since I am growing older I don’t like them but that excitement which used to be there to wait for the post man to start delivering the birthday cards and letters much earlier than actual birthday, later people calling in for wishing – that is not there. Yes, we do get messages and cake photos but hardly anyone CALLS UP to speak and convey their birthday wishes. On top of it, I post on my Facebook wall at the end of my birthday – ‘Thanks all for your lovely wishes. They mean a lot to me. They made my day’. I confess here. I am thanking only handful of those people from the bottom of my heart. For others, it’s just a customary step that has to be done being on social media.

I laugh my heart out when I see so many younger cousins/nephews/nieces of mine who, once they get married, post such emotional and loving messages thanking the Almighty for blessing them with the best spouse in the entire world and 100s of people liking it and posting ‘awww’ and ‘best couple in the world’ comments on that. Though I really do wish that they actually mean what they are saying and that they continue having that love but sad reality is that wait for completion of one year and no more thanking to God. I have seen that most of the time, the couples who are away from the social media are the ones who truly walk the talk of loving their partners in true way.

We meet someone after a long time and end up clicking pictures in every possible angle just to post those pictures with adorable messages on our message groups and Facebook walls. That long awaited meet could be enjoyed more without the phones or cameras and with a lot of coffee and talking.

We get to see so many horrible accidents and fights on social media. Why? Because people are capturing the videos instead of saving the victims. Something funny happens all of a sudden, it’s okay to capture it. But someone being shot at, beaten up mercilessly, being kidnapped… shall we not stop that instead of pulling out our Smart phones and capturing the act?

I sometimes feel that we were okay without our smart phones and without free Wi Fi hotspots. Simple phones which were used only for calling and messaging were enough for us. 

Drive safely...

So, I drive these days to my office. Driving alone is such a boring activity, at least for me. That too, on the same route daily. But not the same traffic. Traffic in terms of number of vehicles can be less or more but on the scale of how many ‘horrible’ drivers are there on the road, it’s either the same or increases every day. Yesterday I was thinking, probably it’s a problem just with me.

I might be the only one who wants to switch and come in the ‘correct’ lane much before the crossing. I might be the only one who uses the indicator to check, confirm, inform and kind of ask for permission from the vehicle coming behind me to change the lane rather than randomly putting it on while I am recklessly cutting across that vehicle. I might be the only one who is not honking the horn and restlessly jumping from one lane to another wherever I find an inch of extra space, even if that means to jump to right most lane, blocking the way for the people who have to turn right when I have to actually take the left turn. I might be the only one who don’t want to squeeze the right most lane vehicle when I can comfortably drive in my lane. I might be the only one who prefers to apply the brakes and slow down when some slow driving vehicle suddenly come in my lane instead of blindly jumping in my right lane thinking that the idiotic fellow of that lane can apply the brakes. My brakes are supposed to be used only in case of emergency.

Out of the 4 scratches that my car have got in one year, 2 were gifted while my poor rampyaari was silently standing in the parking lot of my office, while I was obviously breaking my head inside the air conditioned office. 1 was when an auto rickshaw zipped across my way coming from nowhere and poor fellow loosened his grip on the break exactly at the time when I sneezed. His auto came backwards and gently kissed my car leaving behind a scar. Wow. That rhymed. The 4^th one hurts the most. I don’t have any clue of why I decided to take a U-turn on a busy junction to get into the narrow by-lanes for reaching my office when I had been going straight for good 3-4 months. But I did that since my colleague told me the previous day that those by-lanes are very smooth these days with no traffic. And the by-lane welcomed me with a traffic jam. Spoke to my sister-in-law, listened to 10-15 songs on FM, had one or two biscuits which I normally keep in my car, whatsapped in almost all my active groups and one on one conversations. Finally I was fed up. I mean, hardly a kilometer of a distance and I had been crawling on that stretch from past 40 minutes. When I arrived at the final turn for my office, I see a big car on its lane and an IDIOT biker boy with a girl trying to outsmart everyone jumped ahead and blocked my way head-on, blocking the complete traffic. Only way out was if he could politely go back from where he jumped. But that’s too much for a man and biker boy’s ego. So, he stays and signals me to go ahead since he has given me few inches by ‘adjusting’ his bike position. I knew that I can’t go but by that time I had lost all my patience and zoomed in. That first moment when his bike touched my car, I knew that I have got a scratch but I didn’t stop. I made that biker boy yell and fear and cry for the stupidity that he had done. That meant, my car and his bike, both getting a long scratch. The moment I reached my office I realized that I should not have lost my patience but what to do? I think that auto rickshaws and the bikes are like water. They will fill in every empty space on the road whether that spot is easily reachable or not.

Lot of my colleagues in my office make fun of the speed with which I drive and boast about the maximum speed that they have hit. I don’t want to die in a car crash. You have too much confidence on your vehicle, other vehicles on the road and on God. I don’t. Big deal. I haven’t been in any such emergency situation as yet which makes me accelerate at 130 km/hour speed. For them drive fast gives them a high. For me, it doesn’t.

I don’t understand one thing. Out of 100 vehicles on the road, none or probably except 1-2, have any kind of emergency. Then why are people so restless on the road? Why are they not patient enough to drive in their lanes instead of cutting across like zip-zap? What will they lose or rather what will they gain? They might probably reach their destination 10 minutes earlier. What kind of competition do they want to win? I have seen many times that the cars will keep on honking their horns till you move aside. Why? Can’t you see that there are other vehicles coming from behind and I cannot move to left lane? Can’t you wait? How do you know that I don’t have to take a right turn because of which I am in the lane where I am?

And when it comes to giving way to an ambulance, all of us think that the other lane will make the way. In fact, lot of time you can see lot of vehicles suddenly behind an ambulance because they know that somehow people will give way to the ambulance and we too can tag along. I mean, instead of tagging along from behind, come in front of the ambulance and now honk your horns to help ambulance make its way through the traffic. At least, get aside in case you don’t want to volunteer for that.

Not only the vehicles. People on foot. Why can’t you see the signal and time when you should cross the road? Why do you block half the road for the vehicles/side which have Green signal? Yes, some signals are really long but that’s because they usually have heavy rush. So on such signals, why do you want to cross when it’s a Green light for a side? I often gasp of how people can be so careless on the road. It’s impossible to have zero human error on the road or no accidents. That’s too good a situation to ever happen. But only few things people need to keep in their minds:

• There is no race. You are not supposed to drive ahead of every vehicle. No need to honk the horns and squeeze or crush other vehicles to make way for yourself
• You are not an ambulance or a police jeep driver. There is no emergency situation for you. Even if there is, better to keep calm. Else, you yourself are going to land up in the hospital’s emergency ward
• Learn why your vehicle have been given the horn, brakes and indicator. Seriously. And also that why your country has marked ‘lanes’ on the roads. The government is not that fond of painting that they would make different type of white or yellow lines on the black roads. They are there for a purpose.
• Always promise yourself that you will drive such that neither you die nor anyone else should get hurt because of your stupidity. It can lead to someone bedridden for life or even losing it
• There is absolutely no need to honk your horn the moment the signal turns green. For the car or bike ahead of you, it will take at least 2 seconds to put on the gear and accelerate. 2 seconds to move after a green signal does not mean that the driver is stupid or his/her vehicle has broken down. It’s absolutely normal
• There are many people who love you and rely on you. They may not scream out their love towards you or how important you are for them but be careful on road for their sake.

By the way, my husband in a way confirmed that I am probably the only one who thinks that way – refer to the second paragraph. Scroll up again!! But I am not ashamed of that. Sorry.