Self Appraisal...

Few days back all of us at office got the mail from our HR Head. It again was the time for the Annual APPRAISAL. We are supposed to do our self appraisal first, which will be reviewed by our immediate supervisor, who would give us ratings and other feedback, we then have to approve of it (if not, then have to give provide the reasons for disapproval), this will go to the next level of supervisor and finally the Group Head.

This mail made me think of the answers that I would submit to the questions asked in the Self Appraisal form: roles and responsibilities (if you have a working project you would have work and thus the roles and responsibilities), two major accomplishments (if you would have worked, then only you could have accomplished something), facilitating factors (NONE), limiting factors (long list), feedback etc etc.

I was wondering what all to write. Wanted to write so many things in the most rude manner and put forward my anger for the fact that I have been stuck in a wrong project. For the facilitating factors, I cannot think of anything. Wanted to write NONE, but cannot. Limiting factors were many, but cannot mention it. Feedback for what I require to improve my performance- as if they are going to seriously consider them.

What is the point of filling this self appraisal form or rather, I should fill this form and send it directly to HR and let my manager give his/her feedback about my work separately. If this self appraisal form is just about praising the company, the project and the managers, then it is of no use. But if the suggestions and feedbacks have to be seriously communicated and considered, I dont mind doing the self appraisal.

Give time to our family...

Just sitting idle at office for sometime, I thought of browsing through some random blogs and sites. Clicking on interconnected links, I ended up on one of the blogs and read this story. Found it very touching, so thought to share with all of you. Here it goes...

Source:http://academictips.org/blogs/give-time-to-our-family/

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After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. “What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked.

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. “I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.” She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s. “I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, “she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting.”

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.

“How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home. “Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.”

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “I LOVE YOU” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till “some other time.”

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Once upon a time...A Month Ago...

Here I am: Mrs. Nikita Mathur. As per my last post, I have lost my bachelor status and today the new status- Married, has completed its one month. Although, there was a twist in my wedding ceremonies ("Nikita" and "last minute twists" are inseparable phrases)...

People do fall ill, they are at times admitted to the hospital and they do feel weak at times but I had it all during my wedding. Yes, I caught jaundice, I was hospitalized for roughly 1.5 days and I was extremely weak because of this. The D-day was 11th Feb and I, instead of going to parlour on 7th Feb, landed straight to hospital. Each family member and few close guests as well took turn to feed me regularly with Glucose, fruits, and other recommended food items. Everyone made sure that I do not sit for too long at a stretch.

No one, including myself, to be blamed, but this deprived me of enjoying my own "once-in-a-lifetime" wedding, which I always used to dream as the most lavish and enjoyable event of my life. Wanted to look the best but could manage that only in the Wedding Lehenga and reception saree, else for all other ceremonies, I looked the worst. Had prepared a dance with bhabhi and wished it to be appreciated by all but could barely manage to dance for a minute, which seemed like a year at that time.

Where I should have been working as a new bride- Delhi, I had to lie down on the bed for most of the time, while my in-laws got busier as they took charge of my diet and rest. The expensive and most looked-after honeymoon had to be cancelled. Though, because of all this care by all my family members and friends, I have recovered in less than a month, but this is something I am never going to forget throughout my life and hate myself for troubling all at that time.

On a lighter note, I console myself by saying it was like, Ek Vivah Aisa Bhi... Everyone would remember it for years to come and I just pray to God that our relationship and bonding lasts long and strong... CHEERS !!!!!!

(Wish to relive the experience Minus Jaundice (or any other stupid disease) on our First Wedding Anniversary :) )

Last day at office...

No, neither am I quitting this job, nor has my boss given me the pink slip. Its the last day at office as Ms. Nikita Mathur. As I leave today for my hometown, I will be back to office as Mrs. Nikita Mathur.

Since its the last day, I am officially happy not to work and my boss is also congratulating me and didn't seem very happy to know that I would be joining back only after 25 days. Sent the official invitation and my mail box is continuously receiving Congratulations mails and few south indian colleagues are quite eager to know how a North Indian wedding goes about, is Rajasthan and Jaipur actually dry, will I wear lehenga or the saree, how heavy it is... And few recently married friends are not Congratulating me, rather with grim expressions are conveying me that “I am getting married... Have reached almost the end of my happy life...” and everyone is confirming if I can feel the butterflies in my tummy. Even if I was not feeling, thanks to these very cute friends and relatives, I have started feeling at-least hundreds of them in my tummy now. Mom is eagerly waiting for me to reach there, not for anything else, but to complete the work that she has kept for me as pending.
Yesterday had the last dinner together with Nimit in our courtship period after venturing in almost close to 30 restaurants and eating joints in Bangalore in last 3.5 months. “Courtship period”- always felt it as a term to be spent in Jail after being ordered by the “court”. Finally would be able to meet him on 11th February 2010 only. Sigh !!!!!!!
Anyways... Hope everything goes off well... See you after many days...

The Countdown has begun...!!!

This being my first post in the year 2010, I wish everyone a very Happy, Safe, Successful, Memorable and Prosperous New Year...!!!

Looking back at the year 2009, I must say, it had been one of the most memorable year in my life, actually my family's life. Year started with my brother, Vipul, getting married to Divya and thus started collecting and forwarding wedding pics, gossips, video, more frequent trips to hyderabad and lot of time-pass activities. Once we started getting settled, it was my turn to get flooded with marriage proposals. This was the time when even my most distant relatives had complete information about my job, education and posting, thanks to my parents (specially mummy) and their new Agent (Bhabhi). Lots of discussions with family and close friends, IFs-BUTs, emotional blackmailing by mummy, photographs, Bio-datas etc etc.

Then came a proposal (searched by my parents' Agent) and somewhere everyone knew that it is going to get materialize or atleast go to some higher stage, but fortunately it reached the final stages and I got engaged to Nimit on this 26th December, 2009. Perfect way to end the year.

The D-day is 11th February, 2010 and everyone made sure on 11th January to remind me that its just 1 month left for the Big day. More than reminding, they were trying to scare me (and they were successful, I must say)- my bhabhi, his bhabhi, maums, my cab-mates, my usual gtalk-gang...and so, even I have started the countdown. Today as I write this post, the status is 1 Month - 2 days (thats more positive way rather than saying 28 days)... Help me...

Happening Week- Part 2

Day 2. Somehow managed to get up early (verrry early) in the morning (4 am) to catch the flight to Agartala. This time there was another British family of 5 members- Husband-wife and 3 kids. Kids were cute and the parents handling them so nicely. Anyways, this time did not bother much and caught my “dear sleep”. Layover of 30 minutes at Kolkatta and I thought, now the flight may not be much crowded. But I was wrong. The flight was again full with passengers travelling to Agartala. The moment I stepped out of the flight, I could sense that yes, I am far away from my South India or even the West India and the “dulhe raja” (Babla- his pet name) himself had come to pick me up. He dropped me to his fiancé's home... I met her after 1 year and 11 months. Unfortunately, Babla was not allowed to enter into the house. Something was different about the house. May be Agartala touch. Met her parents, freshened up and had lunch, specially prepared chapaati for me. Got a beautiful saree from her mother (Babla also gifted me a suit and Chinchu's mom gave another saree for my mom...wow). I could clearly see how tensed Chinchu (Mitun- her pet name) was. Went in to see her dahej. So many bangles but interestingly, not in pair. Only two mandatory types of bangles were in pair, which are meant to be worn by each married Bengali lady- 1 red bangle pair and another white bangle pair (made out of elephant tusks).
Throughout the day, were so many ceremonies, thanks to which Chinchu was dead tired by the end of day because of regular change of sarees and lack of sleep. Most of the ladies did not know Hindi or English but men and children could easily talk to me. But still, everyone was trying to talk to me and making me feel comfortable. For some time even went to Babla's home.
One unique feature of Bengali ritual. Whenever ladies would give blessings or some auspicious task is being done, all the ladies would make a sound from their mouth, called Jokaar. Had seen that in movies, but when I saw this the first time, I was, frankly speaking, scared. But after witnessing this 2-3 times, I got used to it.
I managed to eat rice very neatly with my hands, though the speed was drastically slower than the others, but I did not back off. Thats the spirit. Ha ha ha...Chinchu's cousins made arrangements for dance party in the night and yes, even I danced and my “snake dance” was already made popular there, so showed off my skills to them.
Then came the wedding day (Day 3). I was made to accompany Chinchu for her make-up and dressing up and when the final product came out, I was awestruck. My Chinchu had turned into a beautiful Bengali BRIDE... Finally Babla had arrived and hard to imagine, but he was looking awesome Bengali GROOM, and yes, trying to act as if he is shying. He was made to sit in another room, where I also joined him, and people would peek into his room, as if he is an object in a museum. Whereas, everyone went in to congratulate Chinchu where she was sitting and was loaded with gifts. After a brief puja, Babla was made to go through few more minutes of embarrassment. He was made to sit in a cage-like structure and the entire gathering surrounded him, as if he is a resident of zoo (sorry Babla, but thats what I could relate this with). Then came The Bride and she was made to encircle him some 7 times, while he kept sitting there and the exchange of garlands took place. Another 2 hours of puja and then they were Man-and-Wife- officially and finally. Then some games and then the dinner.
Next morning, I met them and left Mrs and Mr Chakraborty, for my South India. Slept like anything throughout the journey and at Delhi airport my dear in-laws were already waiting for me. Somehow managed to look alive and active in front of them and had nice lunch and chit-chat session with them. At Bangalore was picked up and dropped at home by dearest....ha ha ha...you must know by now :)
Now eagerly waiting for the wedding photos and wish all the happiness of the world to the newly married couple. Muuaaaahhhhh....CHEERS !!!!!!!

Happening Week-Part1

The last week (not the weekend, but the week) was so happening. I travelled from South to North-east, all alone, for my two best friends were getting married (finally) at Agartala (Tripura). And the moment I would mention “Tripura”, everybody would raise atleast one or both the eyebrows as if I just had committed some murder. Specially my mother. Actually had to fight with her to convince that Agartala is also just another city in India. If bombs can go off there, so can at Jaipur as well. If flights can be delayed or missed or cancelled for Agartala, so can be for any other city. I really don't understand that even after travelling to so many places alone, by all means, why can't someone have just a bit of faith on me that I WILL take precautions for safe journey?
Anyways. To take off from office during the week is the most satisfying feeling and yes, I left for Delhi after office on Monday. In this post, I may just describe this small flight from Bangalore to Delhi. Can't say if it can be categorized as funny or horrifying.
I got the aisle seat of right side and to the left side came a “small” punjabi family, comprising of a very old man (83 years old- A), another elderly couple (61 years- B and 58 years- C respectively), their daughter- a middle age woman (37 years old- D) and her son (8-9 years old- E). Thanks to them, I could not sleep or relax for even one single moment:

1. All of them, except A, changed and swapped the seats among themselves and other passengers. C was the most difficult to move around, thanks to the excess usage of ghee/butter/oil that she must have done in her life, but she was the one who changed the seats maximum number of time.
2. By the time, I reached Delhi, I knew why and how they had come down to South and now going back (because their voice levels where nowhere near to whispers). It was D's brother's wedding. A Punjabi who must have married a South Indian girl, at Mysore.
3. I also know that the family had got the Spinach-Corn sandwiches packed from the CCD on the way back to Bangalore from Mysore, but still had the heaviest bill with the GoAir catering service. Yes, apart from their own packed sandwiches, they bought other sandwiches, nachos, juices from the airline caterers.
4. C and D were typical of Punjabi Gossip Ladies, addressing other ladies present in the wedding by their weight, size, saree color or makeup thickness.
5. C and D took time off from their gossips to look at the Items on sale in the airline and in 5 minutes asked Mr. B to handover mere Rs. 1100 for a purse.
6. Finally, E became alive after having nachos and swapped the seat with dear grandma (C) to sit with dearest grandpa (B) on the window seat.
a) The moment I loosened my seat belt to relax, bang came his first question – “Nanaji, what if another plane comes from this side and breaks this wing of our plane”. My instant reaction was to fasten my seat belt.
b) Without waiting for the answer came another question – “Nanaji, if there suddenly appears a hole on the floor of this plane and someone puts his leg on that hole, what will happend?”
c) Mind it, Mr. B was trying to answer him, but he had no time to listen to any explanations. There were so many randomly thought questions, which even God would not bother to answer. Does anyone reside on North Pole? If not, then why at the first place is it there on the earth? We should cut it off from earth.
d) Which are the best and the worst Domestic and the International airlines according to you?
e) Is this window having double layer of glass? Why two layers, when only one layer could have sufficed? What if I break this window? If this plane is to crash, how will we be rescued? Can I try opening the emergency exit (this is where I actually began sweating)?
f) Are we actually going to die in 2012? He then calculated the age of each member in 2012 (that’s how I could tell their ages in the beginning of the post).
g) Have you ever played Xbox?
h), i), j).......z)
Now was the time when Mr. B called up his wife to accompany him but mind it that E made it a point that I was constantly under threat with his never ending random questions.
When I was waiting for my bag at the luggage belt, E arrived again by my side. I actually changed my place for he might just ask, What if this airport is bombed at this moment?
At the Delhi airport, though, I got one of the most pleasant surprises (will not mention what, but yes, it was a big surprise). My aunty had prepared Sarso ka saag and Makke ki roti, which I had not tasted since past two winters. This was just the first day of my happening week. More in the next post...CHEERS !!!!!!!!!!